And the word was âRebootingâ
MORE than 60 Feedback readers responded to our request for âthe Wordâ that might have been in the beginning, or even be heard in the echoes of the big bang (5 September). Here are our favourites, so far.
Having just read Belinda Anyosâs suggestion for an ergotopographical sign â âWF/\(âș)/\â â to indicate that one is working from the labour ward (also 5 September) â and, for all we know, in reference to Gustave Courbetâs controversial 1866 painting LâOrigine du Monde â almost illustrated above â the word that sprang to Clare Redstoneâs mind was âPush!â
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Following a more conventionally gendered theology, Nik Whitehead suggests that, âinspired by the fact that God and the writer Douglas Adams were both Englishmen (and that one of them existed)â, the word can only be âSorryâ. To James Webster the universe is clearly a computer simulation, âand a fairly iffy first stab at thatâ, so it seems only reasonable to him that the most obvious thing to find written in the stars will be âhello world!â, the traditional test phrase that computer programmers use to check that their first few lines of code are communicating with, er⊠the world.
Stephan Gyory, on the other hand, evokes the image of an exhausted forehead firmly planted in the middle of a keyboard, leading to the word ârtyuiâ. John Clayton suggests that the Prime Coder had reached an early phase of debugging, and that the word was âRebootingâ.
Developing the gnostic notion that the universe was created by a minor deity, Peter Davies suggests that the word was a reprimand from the Major Deity to the entity that had just created mass: âHiggs!â Ian Page imagines that entity boasting to the other deities: âSee!â
Jim Page, meanwhile, is convinced that the responsible entity is a lawyer. âSurely he would have to be, given all those Acts of God he commitsâ, and the word would have to be ânotwithstandingâ.
More grimly, Peter Weinrich understands that the commonest documented last word â to be found on innumerable âblack boxâ recorders â is a well-known expletive beginning with the letter âsâ. âIt seems all too likely to have been the first word too,â he concludes.
âAn advert exhorted Sam Westhead to eat âhealthy chickenâ. As a veterinary surgeon, he is sceptical about the feasibility of this, to say nothing of the advisabilityâ
Can q-word magic regenerate humans?
READER Ned Goodwin says he found âa little whiff of pseudo-scienceâ about the âhuman regeneratorâ promoted at .
Only a little whiff, Ned? For us there was a very big whiff, especially when we read in the âTechniqueâ section that the device â a flashily designed box resembling a coffin that you are supposed to lie in â is a âQuantum Pulse Deviceâ and that it employs a âQuantum-Cell Codeâ.
We have noted before (30 May) that the q-word is a sure-fire indicator of fruitloopery and that it never means anything when used in product descriptions. That is evidently true here, leading us to wonder, as we so often do, who on earth could ever be taken in by this kind of nonsense to the point of being persuaded by it to spend money â in this case (we are not joking) âŹ420,000 per unit.
Sadly, though, as the saying goes: thereâs one born every minute.
Reapply regularly for 24-hour action
BOTTLES of proudly announce that they âprovide 24-hour actionâ before quickly adding âwhen used twice dailyâ. Colin McLeod wonders if there are any products which claim 24-hour effectiveness but which need reapplying even more frequently â say, every 6 hours, or even every hour.
SEVERAL readers have questioned our assertion that Philips must have made a major breakthrough to manufacture an iron that produces â50 per cent smaller steam particlesâ (26 September). Chris Adams sums up the issue: âThe difference between molecular water vapour and everyday steam is something even Wikipedia gets right. What most people, especially those who use irons, think of as steam is a mist of droplets of water.â Those could indeed get smaller, without the interesting consequences of shrinking water molecules.
Feedback declines to comment on whether a youthful fascination with coal-fired transport had anything to do with our taking the meaning of âsteamâ listed first in most dictionaries â âwater in the form of an invisible gasâ, as Random House has it â and not as in âa great steaming pile of [insert the word frequently found on black box recorders]â.
Last chance to enter Darwin Now competition
FINALLY, now is your last chance to enter our Darwin Now competition at www.newscientist.com/projects/forms/darwinnow09, as it closes at 5 pm BST on 19 October.
All you have to do is tell us in no more than 50 words what selection pressure imposed by humans will produce in the animals of the future. The prize is attendance at the âOrigin Dayâ celebrations in London on 24 November, with travel from anywhere in the world plus luxury hotel accommodation provided.
