MANY readers have responded to our request for examples of ergotopography â which, Feedback has decided, is the art of writing symbols that say where youâre working from (25 July).
Unsurprisingly, we received a number of suggestions that are unprintable â either because they use characters or symbols our printers donât have, or because they would make the magazine illegal in Herat and/or Houston. Perhaps surprisingly, most of the former were also the latter.
Another which may cause the typesetters pause is John Harveyâs âWFÂ Â Â Â â for âworking from spaceâ. It will also probably stretch your managerâs credulity, unless your business cards bear the words âSpace Agencyâ.
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Among the remainder, we would thank Philip Ritchie for WF(O<-<) for "working from the bath", if it weren't for the office health and safety supremo standing over us, shrieking: "Don't do that!"
Jeremy Bailey claims to be working from a flat-bottomed boat with an outboard motor: WFgl___/, whereas Tom Haskerâs boat has an entirely more serious propeller: WF§-\___/, and Mike Forsyth claims to be on a sailboat: WF~~~4~~~.
And, oh, all right then: following enthusiastic lobbying by several mums in the 51¶ŻÂț office, here is one that Feedback had at first put in the unprintable category. It comes from Belinda Anyos, who suggests that an obstetrician writing from a labour ward might want to send: WF/\(âș)/\.
All these examples of ergotopography appear, in the words of one contributorâs confession, to have been âbred in captivityâ. Who knows how and when they might escape into the wild?
âGood to see that Matthew Limb is earning a reputation for himself by writing for Frontline, the journal of the Chartered Society of Physiotherapyâ
Removes varicose veins! Speeds up racehorses!
ACUPUNCTURE: might it work? The theory, involving subtle energies, is loopy enough but to draw firm conclusions from that would be to do science as literary criticism. It saves a lot of time, but isnât real research. That would involve interesting questions about what it means for a treatment to âworkâ. For example, should we knock the placebo effect if it makes people feel better (51¶ŻÂț, 23 August 2008, p 36)?
These thoughts are prompted by the web page that Dominic Hughes stumbled across at â where Manik Hiranandani of The Clinic, in Malakkara, India, sets out his proposal for âsonpunctureâ using ultrasound.
Hiranandani begins calmly enough, though our alarm bells start to tinkle when he announces early on that his âspecial purposeâ ultrasound heads are âhandcrafted to exacting standards to ensure that the beam is uniformâ. His following sentence may already be forming in your mind: âThis makes each of these sound heads more expensive than a normal ultrasound machine.â
The alarms bells tinkle louder when he talks with mounting excitement about sonpunctureâs proposed uses: the treatment of infections, removing wrinkles, varicose veins, backaches and fibrositis. These last claims conclude, as the rules for the promotion of miracle cures require, with case histories: âMr A, a plump 55-year-old, had ankylosing spondylosisâŠâ
The bells become deafening when he moves on to âgetting the best performance from racehorsesâ and, even louder, âto help teeth regenerateâ. Teeth notoriously donât do that.
Perhaps literary criticism has a place in science after all.
What Word was in the beginning?
MUSING over the search for âechoes of the big bangâ (51¶ŻÂț, 1 August, p 40), John Elsbury was reminded of the words attributed to the apostle John: âIn the beginning was the Word.â So what, he wonders, was this Word? Might astronomical observations find it written, as it were, in the heavens?
âBangâ is a bit obvious, he reckons, and prefers âOopsâ. Feedback warns that this could lead to accusations of gnosticism, the belief that the universe was created by a minor deity having an off day, which for all its intuitive appeal has been a fiercely career-limiting move for past theologians. Anyway, weâd hope for something more cosmologically informative, such as âAgain?â
What would you suggest? Single words only, please, and in attributed to Texas governor âMaâ Ferguson as well as several other devout Americans: âIf English was good enough for Jesus, itâs good enough for us.â
The delights of lactose intolerance
FINALLY, the delights of lactose intolerance: on Tony Comptonâs packet of Lactofree milk is an information panel that cautions: âIf drinking cowsâ milk causes you symptoms such as nausea, stomach cramps, bloating, gas and diarrhoea, this may be caused by the lactose in milk and could mean that you are lactose intolerant.â
Underneath comes the invitation: âWeâd love to hear about your lactose intolerance experiences.â
