Solar system agronomy
Could we grow endangered plants on other planets? We pause and consider this question. No.
Still, since this query is the subject line of a PR email from an online flower-delivery service, handed to us by a colleague with a pair of tongs and a disparaging look, we find it worthy of further consideration. Even more so since we are promised conclusions reached âusing research and working with a designerâ.
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âToday, nearly 40% of the worldâs plants are endangered, according to a report from the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew,â we read. . But never fear, once we have destroyed Earthâs ecosystems, a bright, green future exists elsewhere in the solar system, at least in the world of whirly-eyed PR.
âAs the soil on Mars has double the amount of iron than soil on planet earth, leafy green vegetables and microgreens would easily thrive there,â we learn. Dandelions, too, apparently â a species far from endangered on Feedbackâs small patch of terra firma. âHops vine [sic], trees, shrubs and poison ivy might be able to survive the challenging temperatures on this moonâ, it opines of Jupiterâs satellite Europa, where days struggle to rise above -135°C and surface radiation levels are around 2000 times those on Earth. âOne of the only things that can kill poison ivy is boiling water â so the cold and wet conditions on Europa seem to be the ideal environment for this plant.â
The outlook is even rosier on Titan, the Saturnian moon where water ice at around -180°C fulfils the function of bedrock, and great surface lakes are filled with liquid natural gas. âTitanâs surface is sculpted by methane and ethane, which only one other planet in the solar system has: Earth. Therefore, tobacco plants should grow on this moon tooâ, our correspondent concludes, non-sequentially.
âPlease let me know if you have any questionsâ, the email ends. So, so many, including where we get some of the wacky Europa baccy too. Optimism is a fine, fine thing, but as far as the future of life on Earth is concerned, we fear the rationalistâs counterstatement applies: .
Bog standards
âWe are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the starsâ, as one of the usual suspects once wrote. Or we are all in the gutter, sending in responses to our recent item on peculiar toilet signage (31 July).
âToilets and viewing areaâ was an unfortunate juxtaposition that confronted Richard Ellam at an Aberdeen Science Festival some years back, while Chris Evans relays that âA lay-by eatery near where I live (on the A59 between Skipton and Clitheroe) for some years displayed a sign reading âSit-in or take-away toilet'â â neither of which seems particularly practicable or desirable.
Hazardous fore play
Our item on the newly introduced crocodile hazard at the Royal Port Moresby Golf Club in Papua New Guinea (14 August) reminds Stuart Reeves in Wake Forest, North Carolina, of playing at the .
Its âlocal rulesâ include such gems as âBurrowing animals â Rough/Fairway drop without penalty from holes made by burrowing animals and termites, NOT HOOF MARKS. Burrowing animals include warthogs, moles and termitesâ.
Other rules (âformal and informalâ) that Stuart has encountered on his travels include âGive way to a herdsman and his cows crossing the fairway; free drop from a hippopotamus footprint; free drop about 3 club lengths if the ball lands in the coils of a snake (no need to be precise); if a monkey steals your ball it is a lost ballâ. Strong stuff â and further congratulations on your self-confessed status as a ârecovering golferâ.
Transcendental number
Mentions in Almost the last word (14 August) of âinteresting numbers, numbers with their own Wiki page and the fine-structure constant (approximately 1/137) prompted me to recheck the , writes Mike Sargent, displaying the talent for the tangent that we so admire among Feedback readers. âIt has for several years now informed us that âWolfgang Pauli, a pioneer of quantum physics, died in a hospital room numbered 137, a coincidence that disturbed himâ.â
âIt is difficult to know which is more surprising, that Pauliâs consciousness transcended death, or that he then contrived to communicate his feelings on his demise to a Wiki page editor,â he continues. We donât wish to sound too woo, but it is a fundamental tenet of quantum mechanics that information cannot be destroyed, and âPhysics might create a backdoor to an afterlife â but donât bank on itâ is the headline of an article we see in our webspace starting from that basis. We would say thatâs living proof, but thatâs possibly not quite right.
Last laugh
Casting our all-seeing eye over our shoulder, we see that our neighbours and friends in Almost the last word (backwards readers: youâll find it towards the front) are discussing how a photon âknowsâ to travel at the speed of light.
With the privilege of having the actual last word, we must give the obvious missing answer: because it is very bright.
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