The new statesman
Switching allegiances is now almost a daily routine for UK politicians, but surely none has changed direction as drastically as Lembit Ăpik. Once a member of parliament for the Liberal Democrats, he surprised us in 2018 by pivoting to the heavens, becoming Chairman of Parliament for Asgardia, the self-proclaimed space nation founded by Russian entrepreneur Igor Ashurbeyli.
Sadly, he presides over a government in exile, as Asgardia currently has no territory to speak of. It does have a tiny satellite in orbit â containing a small hard drive that promises one day to be filled with Asgardian family photos. This hasnât been enough to convince the Luddites at the United Nations to recognise Asgardia as a state.
Such issues are trifles in the minds of Asgardians. A conference in Vienna in April saw devotees convene to discuss the governance of their orbital USB stick. Ăpik writes to Feedback to tell us that delegates shared their short, medium and long-term plans for Asgardia. (The phrase âlong-termâ is working hard here, as Asgardiaâs satellite is predicted to burn up in the atmosphere within five years.)
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Ăpik tells us that, in contrast to the worldâs nation states, Asgardia is attempting to do things a bit differently. âIf youâre willing to play your part, regardless of who you are and where you live, as far as Asgardia is concerned, youâre in,â says Ăpik, before adding somewhat ominously that everyone else âcan stay on Earth, and thatâs fine â as long as they donât wreck the planet or wipe out the human raceâ.
No need to worry about an extra-planetary conflict any time soon, though. Asgardiaâs satellite was launched by a US rocket, so it falls under the auspices of the Outer Space Treaty. This forbids anyone from claiming territory in space.
With 132 national signatories to the treaty across the world, finding a launch partner unencumbered by it isnât easy. But if Tuvaluâs space programme ever gets off the ground, look out world!
Raise a toe-st
Former British commando Nick Griffiths has immortalised himself â in part â by donating his amputated, frostbitten toe to a remote Canadian bar for use in its most famous drink. Since 1973, the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City has offered the Sourtoe cocktail, a shot of Yukon whisky garnished with a mummified toe. Traditionally, this offering can be drunk slow or fast, but always with the lips touching the toe.
âWe couldnât be happier to receive a new toe,â the Downtown Hotel general manager Adam Gerle wrote. âThey are very hard to come by these days.â The bar keeps a stock of several toes to, er, hand, but over the years several have been stolen or swallowed.
This isnât the first time Feedback has heard of mummified remains stirring the interests of drinkers. When archaeologists opened a sarcophagus in Alexandria, Egypt, in 2018, they discovered three skeletons in a red broth. Cue a flood of requests to sample the grisly ancient liquor: thousands of people signed an online petition demanding as much.
âWe need to drink the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus in the form of some sort of carbonated energy drink so we can assume its powers and finally die,â petition founder Innes McKendrick wrote. Thankfully, the Downtown Hotelâs Sourtoe cocktail doesnât seem to have such a dramatic effect.
Air freshener
When it comes to making guests feel welcome at your bar, the right atmosphere is essential. And to help with that, Spanish firm VilardebĂ & Mortensen is offering the Veema Human System, a device that will âneutralise the negative effects produced by natural and artificial electromagnetic pollutionâ.
Despite looking like a piece of moulded plastic, the Veema Human System packs a powerful punch: according to the companyâs website, not only can it improve customer care and boost productivity, but an animal version, when installed on a pig farm, cuts mortality and increases weight gain. Perfect if you want to end your evening drinks fatter and not dead.
A nightspot free of radiation from electrical devices does hold a certain appeal â no text messages to spoil chats, and no waiting hungrily as dining partners stage impromptu Instagram photo shoots of the food.
Yet a visit to a bar equipped with the Veema system showed that certain devices you might expect to be affected in some way werenât. Phones received signals and the contactless card reader worked faultlessly to bill Feedback at the end of the night. Isnât it clever?
Flying Lada
Finally, national pride was a major driver in the first space race, so perhaps it is to be expected that the new, privately funded space race is quickly becoming a contest to see who can launch the most ridiculous vanity object.
Elon Musk has been ahead for some time, after sending a Tesla sports car complete with dummy spaceman driver into space on a Falcon Heavy test rocket. But success, like orbital paths, eventually decays, and Musk has a new challenger in Russian project ToSky. It has lofted a model of a Soviet era Lada car complete with cardboard cutout of Dmitry Rogozin, the head of Russiaâs Roscosmos space agency.
The Lada didnât quite make it to actual space â the payload was part of an experiment in stratospheric satellites â but is this the emergence of a new standard in test payloads? In 2019, it isnât enough to show off your prowess with an eye-catching car: to prove you have the Right Stuff, you need to drive it to the moon.
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