51动漫

Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more

Mammoth tidings

GOOD news for South Carolina. Earlier, its House of Representatives opposed creationist references that the state Senate slipped in while enacting 8-year-old Olivia McConnell鈥檚 proposal to name the Columbian mammoth as the state fossil (26 April). Then an inter-house 鈥渃onference committee鈥� , despite the majority of its members initially voting in favour of the 鈥渃reated on the Sixth Day鈥� language. On 16 May, the bill . That was wise politics: Olivia had she was determined to have the unadulterated bill passed, even if it 鈥渕ight not be until I鈥檓 23 or 40鈥� If it doesn鈥檛 pass this year, I鈥檓 going to be back next year.鈥�

Mail from tells of 鈥渁 鈥楥rowd Prediction鈥� experiment to see if the date of future catastrophes can be predicted鈥� 鈥� but wouldn鈥檛 it be nicer to start with lottery numbers?

Tomorrow will now occur鈥�

EDITING this week鈥檚 column, we found ourselves writing to a colleague: 鈥渘ext week, Thursday will take place on Wednesday 21 May.鈥� This is a consequence of the UK public holiday that some readers may have enjoyed not long before reading this, requiring that everything be done early.

In turn, as we draft this on Friday 16 May, the word 鈥渢oday鈥� would mean 鈥淪aturday 31 May鈥� 鈥� the date on the cover. Meanwhile, we are discussing with a colleague an idea for another publication, in which 鈥渢oday鈥� is 鈥淔riday 23 May鈥�. So why was it not a journalist but a patent examiner who realised the relative nature of time?

Patently absurd

THERE will now be a short pause while Feedback savours the phrase 鈥淪wiss patent-attorney humour鈥�. 51动漫 published a letter from Alan Wells about the patent work of Albert Einstein, including the phrase: 鈥渂ack then, the Swiss Patent Office only examined patent applications relating to timing means鈥� (12 April, p 32). Alan now confesses that this sentence was 鈥�ein Schnappsidee鈥� 鈥� a term that he says is 鈥渘ot easily translatable鈥� but which we recognise all too easily, knowing that Schnapps is alcoholic and Idee is 鈥渋dea鈥�.

He looks forward to his letter being cited to support the notion that, as Graham Greene put it in The Third Man, 500 years of Swiss democracy and peace produced 鈥渢he cuckoo clock鈥�. In patent-attorney terms, that would be a 鈥渕echano-avian timing means鈥�. For the record, Alan directs us to the Swiss Patent Office in Bern listing patents examined by Einstein, which include a gravel sorter and an 鈥渆lectrical typewriter with shuttle-type carrier鈥� ().

Diplomatic language

DISCUSSING with colleagues the prospects for the , we recalled the immortal intent of a diplomat in Geneva 鈥渘ot to move the discussion unnecessarily forward鈥� (8 February). Other favourite diplomatic language includes 鈥淚 shall have to refer to my capital,鈥� meaning: 鈥淚 don鈥檛 care what you lot say for the rest of the week, I鈥檓 not consenting to anything until we next meet.鈥�

In the record of a meeting, the words 鈥渙ne country said鈥︹�� are a delicate way, in our experience, of recording occasions when the US, specifically, means: 鈥渄ream on, people, that is so not happening.鈥�

Feedback expects readers have similar favourites. Will you reveal them, strictly between us?

Mysterious imaging

THE Australian firm behind claims to detect metals and minerals. We observed that in 2011 it was promoting 鈥淕eo-Resonance Rejuvenation 鈥� An Innovation in Holistic Healing鈥�, but skipped the technicalities (17 May).

Now we have found more similar claims. In Ukraine, opens with the wonderfully gnomic 鈥淲hen we have picked up all grain about new, very weak, but very 鈥榩owerful鈥� signals, we saw a new truth about deep underground vision鈥︹�� In Spain we find , with subsidiaries in, among other countries, Ukraine.

But how is it supposed to work? The company provides to which all . This specifies that 鈥渁 black-and-white negative is used as an aerospace photograph [and packaged with a] test wafer and X-ray film, the formed package is treated with gamma rays.鈥�

The X-ray film is then 鈥渃hemically processed and placed in an alternating electric field of high pressure鈥�. This method somehow reminds us of 鈥渁ura-imaging鈥� practices like . How it enables the detection of underwater or buried metals or oil, Feedback has no idea.

Town with no name

FINALLY, an update on the mapping service of a famous web search engine (FWSE). We reported that if you locate London and zoom out to see all of England, the nearest place shown was Leigh-on-Sea in Essex (10 May). This is still true. But when Viv Brown, Andrew MacGregor and we last looked, Brussels had reappeared and a place called 鈥淭OWN CENTRE鈥� . Only zooming back in until we can spot the trains in the station revealed that this was .

Feedback has fond memories of wangling a press visit to the secret nuclear bunker under an office block on Alencon Link, by the station. Could this be connected with its anonymity?