Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
Ship of fools
SUPERYACHTS and their owners can be friends of the earth. Oh, yes. âBuild a yacht. Protect the forests,â says Philippe Mondielli, scientific director of the Prince Albert II of Monaco Foundation.
He was writing in a leaflet from the foundationâs Wood Forever Pact, distributed at an for environmental scientists hosted by the foundation last month, which highlights ways in which the owners of superyachts can be âethicalâ and âresponsibleâ.
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âRare tree species adorn yachts,â the leaflet says. Teak âhas a justified reputation as the perfect wood for decksâ, the foundation . But owners of superyachts who care about deforestation now âhave the opportunity to make a real differenceâ. They can âoffsetâ the damage their yachtâs building has done by sending a one-off donation to the Pact: âŹ10 for each tonne of water their yacht displaces. For one of the middle-of-the-range 100-tonne vessels lining the harbour in the tiny Mediterranean principality that is Monaco, thatâs âŹ1000.
For their donation, these caring sailors would get âinvitations to exclusive events, and the opportunity to network with like-minded ownersâ. Perhaps they might even get a meeting with the environmentally-minded prince.
Then again, if they really want to go green they might decide to give up their superyachts: quite apart from the tropical hardwoods used in their construction, the most super of yachts can burn up at top speed. If not, the foundation had better get busy. Using the ecological measures of the , it would need to plant a hectare of forest for every 25 minutes of such superyacht .
The Dominoâs Pizza leaflet that dropped through Charlie Wartnabyâs letter box defies logic by promising âSavings of up to and over ÂŁ350â
Booze bazooka
WHAT on earth could an ââ be?
Richard Lucas sends us a scan of an ad he saw in the CPC catalogue promoting the âShootndrinkâ gun, describing it as a âhigh speed spirit delivery systemâ to âtake drinking games to another levelâ.
The gun comes with a cartridge â you âfill the cartridge with the spirit of your choiceâ, which is then âshot out at high speed into the drinkerâs mouthâ. It is, says the ad, âideal for stag and hen nightsâ.
Feedback was greatly taken by the whistle-in-the-wind statement concluding the promotion: âNB. Please enjoy Alcohol Shot Gun by drinking responsibly.â
Well, happiness to their sheets!
WHY would anyone buy a rubber bed sheet that plugs into the mains electric supply? According to to which Sophie Barnes alerts us, they would do so in order to âexperience reported benefits of quality sleep, vitality, reduced painâ. Feedbackâs inner pedant â never far from the surface â understands what is being claimed here, and the advertiserâs need for legal wriggle-room. But their wording still makes us imagine the user being annoyingly woken up in order to âexperienceâ reports by others of such benefits.
The benefits arise, apparently, when you âjust lie on the sheet with bare legs and let the Earths [sic] natural rhythms and pool of electrons [sic±Ő.â
Ah, yes: who wouldnât want to be connected to Earthâs pool of electrons? Possibly someone who appreciates the late physicist Richard Feynmanâs proposal that there is , which pops up in different places whenever it is observed.
Such a person might, however, be unwilling to spend ÂŁ144.95 on a bed sheet, when also offers for ÂŁ1.48.
Strange serpents
THE advert for the Sentinel Q Electronic Snake Repeller that Anna Butcher spotted in Australiaâs Farmer Direct aroused her interest, partly because the illustration and description didnât make it at all clear how the repeller worked â or indeed whether it worked. But it was also because it included : â100 per cent safe to use around children and animalsâ.
âThis means,â says Anna, âthat the snakes, being animals, wonât be harmed by the Snake Repeller â but I am concerned for my own safety, being an adult.â
Hedgehogs lie tumbling
THE photo of a charming little hedgehog sniffing a bowl of food in Rachel Caveâs recent CJ Wildlife catalogue carries a caption stating that the bowl contains ââ.
âThis easily digestible food is akin to their natural diet, so our prickly friends are sure to enjoy this meaty feast,â the brochure explains. It continues with the productâs composition, starting with âmeat and animal derivatives from organic chicken and turkeyâ.
Rachel says she is now afraid to go into the garden at night for fear of encountering hedgehogs that snack on chickens and turkeys â considering how large they would have to be.
A novel review process
FINALLY, the International Journal of Latest Research in Science and Technology told Andrew Kirk in an email soliciting papers that it is an âacademic Online Open âRight to Useâ Pear Reviewed International Journalâ.
Andrew wonders how the pear review process is conducted â and whether it makes the journal more likely to accept fruitloopery.
