Meeting yourself in other universes
THIS could be the loopiest website we have come across yet. Several readers have gleefully suggested we bask in the craziness of , a website that tells us we can âjumpâ into parallel universes and benefit from encounters with alternative versions of ourselves that live in them: âImagine the wisdom youâd learn,â it exhorts, optimistically.
Arguing that quantum physicists believe that âan infinite number of alternate universes existâ, the website goes on to assert that âEvery decision you make in life causes a âsplitâ in reality⊠which in turn creates two alternate universes â one where the current version of you is today, and another with the version of you who made a different choice⊠Now imagine what you could accomplish if you could somehow tap into these alternate universes to meet and learn from these alternate versions of yourself.â
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Sadly, the website doesnât actually tell us how to do this, beyond asserting that âall you need to do is change the frequency of your thoughtsâ. Perhaps everything will become clear if you sign up for a free introductory course, and clearer still if you buy the CDs promoted in the âproductsâ section.
By way of encouragement, we are given the example of Burt Goldman, who discovered quantum jumping and who has apparently turned himself into a painter, a photographer, a published author, a singer and an âinternet entrepreneurâ by jumping into other universes to learn from other selves.
We are also given customer testimonials, such as the one from Mary Madeline Day, who decided to âgive quantum jumping a shotâ when she had a headache. âAfter going through the door to my other healthy self and staying there for a short while,â she says, âI started to feel better.â
Curiously, this and the other testimonials are accompanied by a disclaimer saying âPlease note that these results are not typicalâŠâ So why give them to us? Why not give results that are typical? But perhaps another version of Feedback in another universe could answer this and the many other questions we have about quantum jumping.
âThompsonâs Health Supplements in Australia, Bruce Campbell notes, have succeeded in producing a chemical product previously unknown to science. They now sell âOrganic Zinc Tabletsâ
MORE amazing precision comes from the which informed Ian Dibsdall, via a famous web search engine, that he was about to visit âPage 0.933333333333 of 44â. The page in question is not small â when we looked it had roughly 58,000 words in between the pictures of tools â yet it informed us of our position in the document to the nearest 17-millionth of a word, approximately.
Feedback suspects this puzzled the website designers nearly as much as it did us, because when we went back to to look again, while proofreading this page, their page count display was nowhere to be seen.
THE US National Library of Medicineâs search service PubMed is, says Janis Smy, âbeloved of medical writers like meâ because it allows them to search the databases of most peer-reviewed journals by topic or name of researcher. Janis is amused, though, when she goes in via , to be confronted by a red bar at the top of the page containing the words âHistory has expired due to inactivityâ.
Breeding sausages in the garden
SAINSBURYâS supermarket, Peter Harrison tells us, sells âoutdoor bred Cumberland chipolatasâ. Peter thinks these would be an ideal source of protein to keep and nurture in his garden. There would be no pen to build and no noisy or smelly disturbance of the neighbours.
He asks: âDoes anyone know whether I should start with one or two â and if two, which two â and what to feed them on?â
Ingredients from here and there
THE label on Michael Loftingâs bottle of soda water stated that it was made from âlocal and imported ingredientsâ. Michael wondered whether it was the water or the carbon dioxide that was imported: âIf the latter, does this constitute an emissions trading scheme?â
TRYING to get a lift pass for the ski resort of Courchevel in the French Alps, Jethro Jessop followed the links to buy one at . A nicely designed screen with images of snow-capped mountains bore the message: âInternet ski passes purchase is only available at our desks in the resort.â
âI took this as proof that we all live in some kind of virtual construct inside a giant other-dimensional computer,â Jethro says.
Perhaps in preparation for the âinformation technology for businessâ event taking place at the resort on 7 April, pass purchasing online has since been restored.
Beware the killer mice from space
JUST for a moment, James McCartney was very worried by the âMonitoring killer mice from spaceâ. Then he realised with relief that the monitoring is from space, not the mice. It went on: âGreen on satellite images warns of hantavirus outbreaks.â
FINALLY, an email Graham Smith sent us in January has now resurfaced in our piling system. He describes shopping in the run-up to Christmas with his partner for something to dress their 3-month-old in. In a Tesco supermarket they found a sleeping suit emblazoned with the words âMy First Christmasâ. It was sized to fit babies from 18 to 24 months old.
