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Of summer and sanitisers

Why nobody uses those hand-sanitising devices, evidence that one road tunnel is a black hole and the new science of intelligent chemistry

Doctors with dirty hands

HAVING won the 2003 Ig Nobel prize in literature, for meticulously collecting data and publishing more than 80 detailed academic reports about things that annoyed him, John Trinkaus has continued his quest, with a study published in the November/December issue of the .

“A number of organizations with high pedestrian traffic volume throughout the day in their buildings have installed hand sanitizing devices in the lobbies,” he notes. We have them right here in Feedback Towers, too. They are, one would have thought, rather more important to medical professionals. So during the summer of last year John observed people’s behaviour in “a US teaching hospital located in the suburbs of a large north-eastern city”.

Of 500 people he saw passing a sanitiser, he judged 108 to be healthcare practitioners, on the basis that they were wearing a hospital identification badge, or dressed in “seemingly hospital garb”. Of these, only three (3 per cent) used the facility. Of the remaining 392 judged to be visitors and patients, 23 (6 per cent) did so.

His foremost hypothesis for this astonishing laxness in the midst of a possible flu pandemic is that “These folks may have simply been in ‘summer mode’, thoughts of vacations and fun rather than disease and pestilence being uppermost in their minds.”

Further study appears to be required. It should be done soon, though, while it’s still winter in the north-eastern US.

“When she bought a Transcend USB Flash Drive 16GB, Jacqui Stanley was pleased to discover that Transcend has announced “the extension of its renowned Lifetime Warranty”

Inept app

APPS on the iPhone are hot, so everybody wants to get in on the action, like AT&T, which has created an app for iPhone users on its wireless network to report problems, including service outages on said network. How you’re supposed to do that when the network is down is another question, as Mel Martin points out on .

AT&T is hardly unique in failing to understand this problem, he writes, recalling his experience many years ago while working at a public service television station in Ohio.

“We had pretty weak reception, and the station manager decided to do an hour-long programme to tell people how to adjust their antennas if they couldn’t receive us. I tried, and failed, to convince him that the very people we were trying to reach couldn’t see the programme. My pleas fell on deaf ears, so we did the programme and great hilarity ensued as the local press chewed us up for our stupidity.”

Black hole under the river Thames

CAMPAIGNING for another bridge or tunnel across the Thames river in London, presents meters showing the traffic flowing into and out of each portal of the existing Blackwall tunnel. Checking the site at 5 pm on a Friday, Feedback was concerned to see huge numbers of vehicles entering the northern portal and none at all leaving the southern. What was their fate?

Equally worrying, nothing was shown entering from the south, even though traffic was pouring out of the north portal. Presumably these vehicles originated somewhere even more mysterious than south London.

However, as Richard Knight points out, beneath the meters is written “Accuracy +/- 90%”. All may be explained.

Self-aware surveillance cameras

CCTV surveillance cameras are – according to a photo that Joshua Hall sent us from a suburb of Nottingham in the east Midlands, UK – “aware and operating at this bus shelter location”. Joshua is concerned that the highways department of Nottinghamshire council didn’t inform us that it was developing self-aware security cameras.

Or did they gain consciousness by accident? Their proliferation – hanging like bunches of electronic grapes in an increasing number of locations – certainly suggests that we should monitor their evolutionary progress with some care.

Intelligently designed ions

PERUSING a catalogue that had fallen out of a magazine, Mike Steinbock was fascinated by an advert for the . His attention was not so much caught by the quackledygook about negative ions being “known to facilitate blood circulation and enhance metabolism by lifting body temperatures”, as by the claim that the necklace is “made of specially designed negative ions”.

Would those have been designed by Oregon Scientific, the company that sells the necklaces at $39.99 each – or are we talking “intelligent chemistry” here? Mike fears the latter and worries that Oregon Scientific is trying to open a new front for creationists.

Malformed acronym

FINALLY, computer administrators at Darren Gye’s place of work in Tasmania, Australia, have produced a perfect example of Malformed Acronym Syndrome (21 November). They have dubbed their new piece of software, the Fire Appliance Resource Kit, “FARKit”. This, says Darren, is in fact “what we say every time it doesn’t work”.