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When germs are heavier than the Earth

ADVERTS that strike fear into the customer鈥檚 heart must work or advertising executives wouldn鈥檛 be so keen on them. So advertising antibacterial products ought to be a piece of cake.

Take the Dettol range of antiseptic cleaning products. Alan Squire saw a Dettol cleaner advertised in the UK with the warning that one bacterium, left unzapped, can multiply to 2 million in 24 hours. The goes further, saying: 鈥淏acteria can grow and divide every 20 minutes. One single bacteria cell [sic] can become more than 8 million cells in less than 24 hours.鈥� And the product makes the claim that it 鈥渋s effective against 99.9 per cent of all known bacteria鈥�.

Since Alan is a Feedback reader, he got his calculator out. Taking the assumption that 鈥測ou are unlucky enough to have the 1 in 1000 bacterium that Dettol does not kill initially鈥�, he worked out that at the rate of multiplication described you would soon end up with a staggering number of bacteria, even if you continue to cull a high proportion each day with Dettol. Alan reckoned that 鈥渁fter 4 days your 鈥榗leaned鈥� area will have around 160 grams of undead bacteria (assuming 1 gram of bacteria contains about 10¹⁶ 辞谤驳补苍颈蝉尘蝉)鈥�.

Unfortunately, things could be a lot worse. Feedback fears that the one survivor in 1000 will pass on its Dettol resistance to its 鈥渄aughters鈥�, as they are called in lab jargon, so using Dettol every day will no longer reduce the numbers. After 24 hours of dividing every 20 minutes there will be nearly 10²² bacteria. After four days there will be 10⁸⁶, which, at 10¹⁶ organisms to the gram, would weigh 10⁷⁰ grams, or 10⁶⁴ tonnes. The mass of the Earth is a mere 6 脳 10²¹ tonnes.

Seeing as the Earth鈥檚 mass is not spiralling exponentially out of control, even without the universal application of Dettol, Feedback concludes that other mechanisms are at work that limit bacterial growth 鈥� such as restricting the food supply. Washing with plain water will do that nicely, and if taken up widely will give those advertising execs enough time off from commissioning scary copy for them to take a numeracy class.

Energy giant鈥檚 lamentable Latin

脡LECTRICIT脡 DE FRANCE operates in the UK as EDF, presumably to avoid confusing the monoglot British. It offers customers 鈥淣ectar points鈥�, which Feedback understands are a sort of loyalty scheme. Ed Wood wanted to know whether he could use these 鈥減oints鈥� toward paying his own bill, but when he visited the that he hoped would tell him (you can get to it at ), he was presented with a page that at first glance seemed to be in Latin.

In fact it鈥檚 worse than that; it鈥檚 not even linguistic one-up-hommeship. What we see there is the standard dummy text used by graphic designers to fill the space where the proper text will eventually go: 鈥淟orem ipsum dolor sit amet鈥︹��, which looks as if it means something, but doesn鈥檛.

Fancy hairstyles for computer bosses

Have we just been denied the sight of dazzling new haircuts on the heads of IBM executives? Before the recent purchase of Sun Microsystems by the software company Oracle, David Malarkey read in a newsletter from IT Pro: 鈥淚BM specifically still appears keen to open up its coiffeurs and make a play for Sun鈥︹��

Fresh milk is eight months old

THE packet of butter Max Gopfert bought last week from a Marks & Spencer supermarket in Merseyside, UK, told him it was 鈥淎 smooth, creamy unsalted butter made with only the freshest summer milk from cows grazing on luscious summer pastures鈥�. The butter also had the words 鈥淢ade in the UK鈥� on it. That means that if the milk really was 鈥渟ummer milk鈥� it is now at least eight months old. Max wants to know how this can be described as 鈥渇resh鈥�.

鈥淭he Ikea furniture store responded to the online contact form submitted by Anne Lane with the message: 鈥淭hank you for contacting Ikea. We will respond within the next 24 hours, if not sooner鈥�

Wallace and Gromit competition closes 4 May

FINALLY, now is your last chance to send in your entries for our competition for all the family in celebration of the Wallace and Gromit exhibition at the Science Museum in London.

Feedback has teamed up with Carlton Books to offer you the chance to win a copy of by Penny Worms, signed by the characters鈥� creator, Nick Park. This fun hardback is packed with information about Wallace鈥檚 cracking contraptions and his madcap adventures with Gromit 鈥� from A Grand Day Out to A Matter of Loaf and Death.

All you have to do is write to us describing in no more than 100 words your own Wallace-and-Gromit-style invention. The best entry will receive a copy of the book signed by Park, with four runners-up each receiving an unsigned copy.

You may enter the competition by email (address below; please put 鈥淐ompetition鈥� in the subject field), fax, post or by going to www.newscientist.com/article/dn16888. The competition closes on 4 May 2009. The results will be published in our 16 May issue. The editor鈥檚 decision is final.