ON 26 JULY we noted that the electronics and hi-fi company Denon is charging nearly $500 for a 1.5-metre length of network cable. Now a reader who wants to be known as Adam points us to , which is charging $2750 for a pair of 3-foot Anjou speaker cables, $5250 for a 8-foot pair and $7250 for a 12-foot pair.
The fact that companies expect people to pay this sort of money for bits of wire may make you think that some strange neurological disorder has swept the hi-fi industry. Then again, you may think that Denon and Pear Audio are models of sanity compared with , a site reported to us by John Noble.
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Here are three of Machina Dynamica’s hi-fi fixes. The $199 Clever Little Clock is a “small, battery-powered travel alarm clock that has been extensively modified using a number of highly specialized techniques”. It “has a pronounced affect on the sound heard by listeners in the room. In addition, any video systems in the house will be improved”.
For some reason, most of the customer testimonials on the Machina Dynamica site are credited with dates rather than names, so we have “May 2007” declaring: “The sound is more open, liquid and organic.”
That sounds pretty impressive, if unlikely, but what about Brilliant Pebbles, yours for $159? These come in a “clear thin plastic bag containing minerals & stones of various types” and once again “a number of highly-specialized, proprietary techniques are used for preparation/assembly”. The stones are “a unique comprehensive system for tuning the room and audio system” that are “capable of dramatically lowering audio noise and distortion”.
“Brilliant Pebbles have made a bigger improvement in sound quality than the last $1000.00 interconnect cables I purchased. Thanks!” says “January 2008”.
If you don’t want stones or clocks around your room, the Teleportation Tweak ($60) might be a better bet. It’s “an advanced telecommunications technique… for upgrading audio systems remotely”. The tweak is done via a phone call and sounds to the listener like a series of mechanical pulses. It takes only about 20 seconds and “has a profound effect on the sound – clearer, more information, greater frequency extension and more realistic-sounding”. We are told that it routinely works “for distances of 1000-4000 miles”.
“The Teleportation Tweak is a thing of indescribable beauty,” gushes “September 2007”.
The Machina Dynamic site now sports illustrations in the form of visuals from old science fiction comics, making us wonder if the site itself is a work of fiction. We hope it is – but given the excesses rife in the hi-fi world, we fear the worst.
THE organisers of the 26th Womad world music festival in the west of England this year hit on a clever way to reduce the amount of paper litter that has to be dumped into landfill rather than pulped and recycled. Beer was served in paper cups, with a 10 pence returnable deposit on each cup. Anyone who took their cup back retrieved their 10 p, and the cup went into a dedicated recycling bin.
Hard-core litterers just did as they always do and dropped their cups on the ground for someone else to deal with.It wasn’t long before smart kids started picking them up and returning them to get 10 p a time. We heard of one boy who earned himself £69 this way.
The organisers were happy because it cost them nothing and cut the litter. Presumably the litterbugs were happy because it let them carry on littering. The kids were certainly happy.
What would happen, we can’t help wondering, if every plastic bag and bottle from regular stores carried a return fee just large enough for a child to think it worth picking up? Could harnessing kid-power be the simple answer to the rich world’s landfill problems?
READER Jim Campbell tells us he got stuck in an infinite loop when he tried to buy a parking ticket from the machine dispensing them in a car park in Bristol. He was trapped there for ages, he says, until a “kind soul snapped me out of it”.
The problem started when he read the instructions on the machine, which came in two parts. One was near the top and read: “For credit card transactions please follow instructions below.” The other, immediately underneath, said: “Operating Instructions – See Above.”
“When Alex Cowley typed the name of a bike into the search box on the Raleigh bikes website, he got this message: “The search returned 3 results of which the top 10 are listed below”
FINALLY, our correspondent who chooses to be known as Grimble Gromble feels he may already be experiencing disturbances in the flow of time prior to the switching on of the Large Hadron Collider, which some have speculated may result in an influx of time travellers (5 April). The other day he purchased a six-pack of Walker’s Worcester-sauce-flavoured crisps which proclaimed: “NEW, IT’S BACK!”.
