NASA’s ever-enthusiastic public-relations department informs us that it is launching “a new artifact loan program” so museums, planetariums and other organisations can display items that flew on the space shuttle.
If this means things like old spacesuits it could be fun, but we’re less than thrilled by the news that the first items being made available are old tyres from the shuttle’s main landing gear – and not all of these have flown in space. Why such an odd choice? Could NASA have the same problem as repair shops do – too many old tyres and no place to put them?
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WHILE enjoying a stir-fry, Alasdair Jones noticed the ingredients list on his bottle of Tesco oyster sauce: “Water, Sugar, Colour, Cornflour, Oyster Extract (1.5 per cent)”.
Underneath was a note: “Oyster Extract contains: Oyster Extract, Tapioca, Starch, Salt”.
Jones presumes that this oyster extract, in turn, contains: oyster extract, tapioca, starch, salt…
“The notice on the door of the labour ward at Mike Carrette’s local maternity hospital says: “Delivery Room. PUSH”
And so on, and so on, forever and ever.
LOOKING through , a website offering “custom crafted spells by Kimberley Rose and coven”, Oli Dipple went to the “Youth Spells” section and was pleased to find it offering an immortality spell.
“This casting will allow you to live a life of infinite age, never to die of natural causes,” Fastspells promises, in the lurid colours we have come to expect from such sites. However, it wisely goes on to suggest that the immortality spell is best used in conjunction with the youth spell, “to avoid an embarrassing appearance”.
The youth spell “will allow you to remain full of youth, forever”, the site assures us. “You will look and appear young throughout the duration of your life.” What’s more – and this is a really neat bit of spell-casting, Feedback thinks – “If you are already beyond your desired age, you will grow backwards, to achieve your desired youth-appearance.”
We imagine that casting spells like these is quite laborious, so it’s hardly surprising that these spells cost $349 each. The “No more cancer” spells must be easier to cast. The standard-level spell only costs $39, while even the premium spell only costs $265 – still a lot less than the spell that makes you grow backwards.
AS a science technician at a British secondary school, Robin Curnow’s responsibilities include buying in laboratory supplies. He recently received a delivery from Scientific & Chemical Supplies in the form of a large box with a red warning sticker saying “Do Not Open”. Ignoring this, Curnow opened the box and found the items he had ordered duly boxed up and nestling in a sea of polystyrene chips – with every item plastered with the same “Do Not Open” sticker. Emboldened by his initial success, Curnow decided to ignore the warnings, successfully unpacked the goods and got on with using them.
The stickers now adorn the door to his preparation room and chemicals store. Sadly, they have as much effect on the students and teachers as they had on him.
MANY thanks to Crystal French for alerting us to the song sung by 51¶ŻÂţs For Better PCR and produced by biotech company Bio-Rad of Hercules, California. The lyrics of this surprisingly lavishly produced number, extolling the merits of polymerase chain reactions, begin as follows:
There was a time when to amplify DNA,
You had to grow tons and tons of tiny cells.
Then along came a guy named Dr Kary Mullis,
Said you can amplify in vitro just as well…
The song builds to a stirring chorus:
PCR, when you need to detect mutations.
PCR, when you need to recombine.
PCR, when you need to find out who the daddy is.
PCR, when you need to solve a crime.
You can see and hear the whole song via . Go on, you know you want to.
THE email Doug Cross sent us about a surprising statement on BBC Radio 4 news on 23 April got lost in our files. Now that we’ve found it again, we think it deserves to be more widely known.
“New research published in a journal of the Royal Society,” said the BBC newscaster, “suggests that women who try to conceive while eating cereals for breakfast are more likely to produce boys.”
Cross wonders exactly how this research was carried out. Did the researchers just take the women’s word for it that they were eating cereal at the critical moment, or did they stand round the bedside and record what was happening on a clipboard?
FINALLY, the can of Sure Extreme Protection deodorant that Rachael Gibbins bought announced that it was “Proven to work at 58 °C, the hottest temperature recorded on Earth”.
And in the small print: “Protect from sunlight and do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50 °C.”
“Words fail me,” says Gibbins.
