AS IT became clear to many in the US that the Iraq war had been a terrible mistake, a joke began to circulate: the real reason for the attack was that one of the dimmer bulbs in the Bush administration – perhaps George W. himself – had confused Iraq and Iran when searching for weapons of mass destruction. Prankster/actor Sacha Baron Cohen, playing “Ali G”, even suggested the possibility to former US secretary of state James Baker in a television interview.
Fast-forward to the recent web posting of an official history of the US Defense Intelligence Agency. A sharp-eyed Israeli scholar, Gideon Remez, spotted a mention of “an Israeli F-16 raid to destroy an Iranian nuclear reactor” during the 1980s. Since it was an Iraqi reactor that Israel bombed in 1981, Remez recommended a correction.
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“To its credit”, the Defense Intelligence Agency promptly withdrew the errant history, replaced it with an updated account, and sent a note to Remez acknowledging the correction, Steven Aftergood of the Federation of American 51¶ŻÂţs writes in his newsletter Secrecy News.
What a shame the Iraq war itself can’t be so easily corrected.
THE “entente amicale” proposed as a replacement for the historic Entente Cordiale by French president Nicolas Sarkozy during his visit to the UK is already running into difficulties.
As the two nations grow more affectionate, increasing numbers of French tourists are making the short trip across the English Channel. A 51¶ŻÂţ colleague saw a lot of them last weekend at St Pancras station, the London terminus of the Eurostar train connection with Paris.
Many of them were not happy. Their attempts to buy tickets for their onward journey using the newfangled ticket machines at the station were foiled by the fact that the French AZERTY keyboard differs from the UK’s QWERTY one. Typing their booking references into the computer was taking them ages and making them feel less amicale by the minute.
Our colleague, who was in the queue behind them, found his amicability rapidly declining too, as it became apparent he was going to miss his train.
NEW YORK lawyer Scott Pilutik that the Church of Scientology is blocking sales on eBay of e-meters – the electronic devices used for counselling by the “church”.
Members of the sect who have become disillusioned with it and who try to flog off their unwanted Scientology paraphernalia now find that if they put their e-meters up for sale on eBay, the listing is removed within hours by Scientology’s lawyers. According to Pilutik, the legal eagles seem to be employing the same tactics that fashion houses use to protect their designs.
Readers in the market for an e-meter shouldn’t give up hope, however. the device is merely “a variation on an ohmmeter, using a Wheatstone bridge to measure electrical resistance” – and ohmmeters can be picked up on eBay at bargain prices.
“ENVIRONMENTAL Action and ExxonMobil Team Up!” announced a press release from Dan Stafford, Environmental Action organiser. “I’m really excited to announce that, starting today, Environmental Action and ExxonMobil have teamed up as part of a new direction for our work. Thanks to a generous gift from ExxonMobil, we’ve come to realise that global warming isn’t the worst thing in the world, and in fact there are a lot of upsides to climate change.
“For starters, no more winter coats! And, if you invested in property out in Utah, you’ll soon own prime beachfront real estate. And that’s just the start. But, we’re not doing it alone – we want to hear from you. Should we put pressure on the auto industry to make less-efficient cars so we can speed up the process? There are a lot of ideas out there, and we want to hear yours.”
“Visiting a relative in hospital, Paul Hargreaves was initially confused by notices on the soiled-linen hampers stating: “Empty when half full””
The release – which was sent out on 1 April – then gave a link to a page that says “Happy April Fool’s Day!” This assures the reader that Environmental Action “would never team up with an oil company” and asks for donations to support the pressure group.
FINALLY, long-time reader Philip Spradbery reminds us that on 4 December 1993 we noted that his surname had been misspelled in 140 different ways and he was therefore the record holder at that time. Since then, he says, he has now collected 161 different spellings of Spradbery. He wonders if he is still the record holder.
He also wonders if this speculation counts as one of the more trivial pieces of trivia that we have encountered recently. The answer is: yes – but since when has this column shied away from trivia?
