“Flirt with science” competition: the runners up
WE PROMISED in our last issue to publish the top 10 runners-up in our “Flirt with science” competition, in which readers were invited to seduce the person of their dreams with a science-related chat-up line. In the event we have decided to give you not just 10 but 15. We hope you’ll agree it would have been a shame to leave any of these out.
We are glad to include here one of the chat-up lines that was once actually used – to great effect. We also include two extra submissions from one of our competition winners, Yonatan Silver.
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I need a seed for my pseudo-random number generator – could I have your phone number?
Ian Marshall, Palo Alto, California, US
Your universe or mine?
and
Hello, did you know that I’ve invented calorie-free chocolate, and I’ve got some back at my place?
Attracta UĂ Bhroin, Dublin, Ireland
You’re so sweet I am developing insulin resistance.
Alex Carlton, Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, UK
“An email entitled “Pumpkins, Rage Under Voodoo Spell” left Colin Deady disappointed, there being nothing in it about how to make vegetables furious with magic. Just another promise to make him more attractive”
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a superposition like this?
Nigel Eaton, Hitchin, Hertfordshire, UK
Did you know that if oysters had no natural enemies, in 10 years the world would be 28 miles deep in oysters? (We married in 1968 and are still going strong.)
Michael Boddy, Binalong, New South Wales, Australia
Hello, I am Bob. You must be Alice. You haven’t changed a bit!
J. H. Van Veen, Voorschoten, The Netherlands
As a quantum physicist, the moment I observed you I determined that we were heading to your place or mine.
and
Of all the bars, on all the planets where conditions support intelligent, bipedal, carbon-based life forms…
Yonatan Silver, Jerusalem, Israel
Hello, I’m Doctor Frankenstein – and I’ve got a monster!
Allan Whatling, St Mawgan, Cornwall, UK
I’ve got some francium back at my place.
and
You have a hyperfine structure.
Ilona Schofield and Caroline Riggs, Brighton, East Sussex, UK
Forget what they say about butterflies, I think that you could whip up a storm just by fluttering your eyelashes.
Justin Byrne, Dublin, Ireland
How can I know a hundred digits of pi, but not the 11 digits of your phone number?
Yuan Yang, Leeds, Yorkshire, UK
Looking at you, creationists may have a point after all.
Amy Fairbrother, Northcliff, South Africa
TURNING to other matters, dramatic news has reached us via the Remote Sensing and Photogrammetry Society’s announcement that the Earth observation team within the UK government’s environment department has been organising “a series of awareness raising events”.
Good thing too. We, for example, didn’t know until we visited that satellites are used to watch crops growing, not growing, or being built over – as well as other important things like the effects of climate change.
So what was the occasion? The society explains at that the events held at the end of 2007 were “coinciding with the 50th anniversary of space”.
Is this a new date for the big bang? Should the creationists be told? Or is it just that crystal-gazer models of the cosmos have gained greater credence in some quarters than we had expected?
A SIGN at Holborn, the underground station nearest the 51¶ŻÂţ London office, stated: “Camden Town station is closed due to a localised event taking place.” This, presumably, was to distinguish it from all those non-localised, quantum events encouraged by announcements such as: “Use all doors to exit.”
Even so, wouldn’t it have been simpler just to say that Camden Town station was closed “because something happened”?
FINALLY, several readers have told us about signs on motorways around the UK that tell drivers: “Please use existing road signs.” Matt Kelland probably speaks for all of them when he observes: “I tried using the other kind, but couldn’t find any.”
