WE ARE surprised nobody thought of this before: a magnetic therapy for the worldâs most over-advertised dysfunction. The makers of Magnehance claim that if you are male you can enhance your organâs performance by wearing a flexible neodymium-iron-boron magnet in your underpants. If you are female, the Magnehance website promises that products designed for you will be arriving soon.
The orthodox medical community has serious doubts about magnetic therapies of all kinds, of course, but advocates claim magnetic fields can make people feel better, ease pain in arthritic joints and improve blood circulation. The last claim is the key, since blood flow is important for achieving erections. According to , the magnetic field from the triangular magnet â worn in a special pouch taped to your underwear â will keep the blood flowing and ready for action.
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If you buy into that theory, whatâs to stop you using, say, an old refrigerator magnet instead? The Magnehance âQuestions & Answersâ page says that, alas, ordinary refrigerator magnets are too weak to provide appropriate stimulation.
Maybe so. We are sorry, however, that the Q&A page fails to address another obvious question. We can only hope that the manufacturerâs description of Magnehance as âa natural, non-intrusive magnetic approach to sexual enhancementâ means the magnet doesnât have to be worn during the act itself.
We also wonder what happens to nearby metallic objects when you are wearing the device. Nothing spoils a romantic dinner more than knives and forks flying off the restaurant table and attaching themselves to your crotch â except possibly the moment when the newly magnetised credit cards in your pocket wonât work as you attempt to pay for the meal.
âAn entry for the year 1815 in the Encyclopaedia of Dates and Events states that âOlber discovered comet bearing his nameâ. âNow thereâs a coincidence,â observes Tony Holkhamâ
ACCORDING to last month, a superb bronze head of the Roman Emperor Hadrian â which was fished out of the river Thames in 1843 and has remained in London ever since â will be exhibited for the first time âat both ends of his wall, at Tullie House museum in Carlisle, and at Segedunum Roman fort at Wallsendâ. How this quantum feat will be accomplished is not explained.
THANKS to Alex Gough for pointing us in the direction of FairDeal Homeopathy, online purveyors of homeopathic remedies. Their website is intriguing, and not at all what you might expect.
âHomeopathy is not a substitute for evidence-based medicine and proper medical opinion,â it states flatly. It goes on to argue that insofar as homeopathy âworksâ, it works through âa complicated interaction with the human body and mind known as the âplacebo effect'â.
âWhat conditions can FairDeal Homeopathy treat*?â is the next question. The asterisk refers to a note at the bottom of the page saying â*âTreatâ in no way implies âcure'â. As for the answer: âFairDeal homeopathy,â we are told, âcan be used to treat any self-limiting condition.â Such conditions are defined as âones that, if left alone, will get better anywayâ.
Is this website a spoof? When Gough asked the owners they were most offended. âA spoof?â they replied. âTsk tsk! We dispatch homeopathic remedies* the same working day! Real pills! In real little bottles and everything! How authentic do you want us to be?â Once again, a note at the bottom of their email explains the asterisk: â*No curative properties implied. Guaranteed as effective as all other homeopathic remedies. May taste of sugar.â
If you would like to purchase a FairDeal remedy for one of your self-limiting conditions, go to and place your order, which will cost you only ÂŁ4.99.
According to the âTestimonialsâ section of the website, such a remedy certainly worked for a Mr S. Scott: âI ordered your product to help treat a mild cold that I was experiencing and that evening I began to feel much better. By the time your product arrived I was nearly fully cured. I cannot recommend this enough, thank you FairDeal Homeopathy.â
WHEN Gill Moxham was browsing she came across this snippet in an article entitled and promptly told us about it: âLike Supermanâs alter-ego, Bizzaro, the particles making up normal matter also have opposite versions of themselves. An electron has a negative charge, for example, but its anti-matter equivalent, the positron, is positive. Matter and anti-matter annihilate each other when they collide and their mass is converted into pure energy by Einsteinâs equation E=mc2.â
Moxhamâs question is: âWhat went on before Einstein came up with the equation?â
FINALLY, if palindromes make you feel queasy, look away now. Our example of a phobia that dare not speak its name â hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, the fear of long words (12 January) â reminded Rosemary Roberts of another in the same mould: aibohphobia, the fear of palindromes.
