IN THE British TV show The Avengers, the story often unfolded on a mysterious military research base. The spooky work going on in sinister buildings was cloaked in a disguise of false normality by scenic English countryside, a local pub, a church and farmland. Avengers buffs might like to know that just such a place exists in real life and you can visit it. Itâs not secret; the authorities just donât talk about it.
The windswept island of Foulness, off the muddy Essex coast, has been used as a firing range for at least 100 years. It is now owned by the Ministry of Defence and used for explosives research by its spin-off company, Qinetiq. Farmers are allowed on the island, to keep it from going wild. A church and pub cater for their needs. Flocks of rare birds have learned to ignore the sound of explosions and breed prolifically.
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Phoning the MoD and Qinetiq for advice on birdwatching is a frustrating experience. Taking a bus to the island is not much use because you cannot get off, but a loophole in the regulations allows you to visit the island by car and to use binoculars: all you need do is advance-book a lunch at the George and Dragon pub. Feedback did so and was duly rewarded with a pass to get through the armed guard and over the drawbridge.
âDriving along an English country road, David Purchase came across a sign saying âBeware, underground cablesâ. He still doesnât know what he was expected to do about themâ
Birdwatching among huts surrounded by blast walls and signs that cheerily warn âdo not approach or touch any object or debris, it may explode and kill youâ is a sobering experience. Back in the office, what we are still trying to work out is how the MoD and Qinetiq have managed to make satellite navigation systems blank out all details of the island the moment the car goes over the bridge.
Perhaps Steed and Mrs Peel could find out for us.
READERS who have been interested in 51¶ŻÂțâs discussion of âdisease mongeringâ â the invention of new diseases in order to push up drug sales (15 April, p 5) â may like to take up Steven Allenâs suggestion of a visit to . Here you can read about Panexa, âa prescription drug that should only be taken by patients experiencing one of the following disorders: metabolism, binocular vision, digestion (solid and liquid), circulation, menstruation, cognition, osculation, extremes of emotionâ.
The drug is also recommended for people suffering from âcoronary heart condition (CHC) or two separate feet (2SF)â, and it can be utilised to decrease the risk of death caused âby not taking Panexaâ or by âcomplications arising from seeing too much of the colour lavenderâ.
A word of caution, though. Before you âask your doctor for a reason to take itâ, you are advised to check out the section on possible side effects. These include âreally geeky laughsâ, âvaluable faeces composed of aluminium and studded with diamonds and sapphiresâ and âsudden enjoyment of really bad musicâ.
The superjumbo and the ping-pong balls
THIS weekâs âunusual units of measurementâ award goes to Martin Symington for his 13 May story in The Times, London, about the new Airbus superjumbo. Not content with just peppering his whole piece with unusual units, he manages to include the following in his summary at the end, which Adam Lawrence has kindly copied to us:
âFully laden, the Airbus A380 holds 310,000 litres of fuel, enough to fill 21 road tankersâŠThe aircraftâs interior volume is 1570 cubic metres, the equivalent of 44 million ping-pong ballsâŠRemoving all the seats from both decks would provide enough space for 10 squash courtsâŠA freighter version, the A380F, will carry 150 tonnes of cargo â about the same as a herd of 57 fully grown Asian elephantsâŠThe temperature in the engines reaches 2800 °C, half that of the sunâs surfaceâŠThe take-off thrust is the equivalent of about 2500 family cars.â
Could it be that Symington is striving to tell us that the plane is quite large and powerful?
MAKING a deposit at the Australia and New Zealand Bank using its over-the-counter deposit slip, Mark Hallinan was surprised to see that the bank had allocated 10 boxes for writing in the digits of the total deposit. He wonders how many customers the bank expects to deposit, for example, A$9,999,999,999 over the counter. Then again, perhaps the bank expects this slip to be in print for a very long time.
FINALLY, several readers were impressed by 51¶ŻÂțâs item about the biologists who âmanaged to get intoâ Bwindi Impenetrable National Park, Uganda, in order to study the gorillas there (6 May, p 20). Richard Horton, for example, awaits news of the renaming of the park to the Bwindi Almost-Impenetrable National Park.
