SEVERAL readers, among them Jenney Shepherd, Caroline Hauxwell and Jackie Leung, have alerted us to an intriguing paper in the British Medical Journal, 鈥淭he case of the disappearing teaspoons鈥� by Megan S. CLim, Margaret E. Hellard and Campbell K. Aitken of the Institute for Medical Research and Public Health, Melbourne, Australia (). This sets out to answer the age old question 鈥淲here have all the bloody teaspoons gone?鈥� using a classic release-and-capture methodology.
The half-life of the 70 teaspoons studied in the institute鈥檚 tearooms was 81 days, with 56 (80 per cent) disappearing during the five-month study. This led to the alarming conclusion that 鈥渁n estimated 18 million teaspoons are going missing in Melbourne each year. Laid end to end, these lost teaspoons would cover over 2700 kilometres 鈥� the length of the entire coastline of Mozambique 鈥� and weigh over 360 metric tonnes 鈥� the approximate weight of four adult blue whales.鈥�
Advertisement
The authors say that 鈥渘o plausible explanations were advanced for the high rate of teaspoon loss鈥�, though they did note the theory of Douglas Adams et al that Somewhere Out There is a teaspoon planet to which they repair.
鈥淭HE request on the box of a DVD rented by Bernard Morcheles was 鈥淧lease rewind鈥�. He says he and his family tried their best, but the 鈥渄arn thing kept going back to the beginning without our help鈥�
However, while engaged in some essential stochastic blue-sky research (otherwise known as idly surfing on company time) Feedback came across a discussion of possible mechanisms on the bulletin boards. This confirms, anecdotally, that the phenomenon is as common in domestic South London as it is in labs in Melbourne. By far the most popular explanation on the site was 鈥渉ouse faeries鈥�, though we rather like the proposals that 鈥渙dd socks are seducing the spoons with stories of The Life That鈥檚 Waiting Outside鈥� and the more materialist 鈥渢here鈥檚 a bloke down East Street market that sells 鈥檈m on鈥�.
One contributor insists: 鈥淚t is well known that teaspoons and Biros are alternate manifestations of the same underlying quantum object. Proof: when you attempt to observe one, all you see is the other. Obviously, there鈥檚 a reflection of the fundamental asymmetry of the universe here too, because you can stir your tea with a Biro.鈥�
SPACE reporters were startled to receive a sensational press release earlier this month. Headlined 鈥淪ETI League Confirms Space Radio Contact鈥�, it began: 鈥淭he SETI League, non-profit leaders in the privatised Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence, is pleased to confirm that on 21 January 2006 at 2142 UTC, its volunteer Regional Coordinator for Alaska, ham radio operator Ed Cole鈥ade two-way first contact with a space citizen. That entity鈥檚 name is 鈥楤ill鈥�, and he currently lives in orbit around the Earth.鈥�
We wonder how many reporters were jumping up and down with excitement having read this far. Unfortunately, they were in for a let-down. The press release continues: 鈥淏ill is, of course, US astronaut Commander Bill McArthur, residing on the International Space Station orbiting Earth鈥︹��
Cheeky. But full marks for gaining our attention, which makes this our nominee for the 鈥渃lever press release of the week鈥� award.
AT the end of our second item on streets with no name, we suggested that we had now received enough examples of this theme (11 February). But Ken Knowles writes to tell us that 鈥渁t the other end of the naming scale鈥� there is a street in Leicester, UK, called Every Street. He adds: 鈥淭here was a time when any local schoolboy would be delighted to tell you that he had 鈥榳alked down Every Street in Leicester鈥�.鈥�
We felt sure this would be unique 鈥� but not so. It turns out there is an Every Street in each of Nelson, Burnley and Bury in Lancashire and Todmordon close by in West Yorkshire, as well as one in Manchester and one in Liverpool. What might explain this quirk in northern English municipal nomenclature is beyond us.
The train to Ramsgate and Ramsgate
FINALLY, passengers on their way by train from London to the Kent coast last week were disconcerted when the scrolling display at the end of their carriage told them: 鈥淭his is the South Eastern Trains service to Ramsgate and Ramsgate. This train will divide at Ashford International. The front four coaches will continue to Ramsgate. The rear four coaches will continue to Ramsgate. Please ensure that you are travelling in the correct portion of the train.鈥�
Mike Wicking, who was one of the startled passengers, wonders if there is some kind of beam-splitter at Ashford International- like the half-silvered mirror in the Michelson-Morley experiment. He is particularly worried about what will happen if the two parts of the train arrive at Ramsgate out of phase.
