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Remote chicken stroking

PEOPLE who are both fond of animals and allergic to them can shout “Hallelujah!”. Adrian David Cheok and colleagues at the National University of Singapore have developed the Touchy Internet system. It connects users to a real chicken via a chicken-shaped doll, an array of sensors and a webcam link. The idea is that you stroke the doll, and then the real chicken, which wears a lightweight jacket containing tiny vibration motors, feels the touch in the same place.

With commendable modesty, Cheok says he understands “the perceived eccentricity of developing a system for humans to interact with poultry remotely”. But he insists the work “has a much wider significance”. He says that it could eventually allow people allergic to dogs and cats to interact in a touchy-feely way with their pets, or enable zoo visitors to pat a lion or a bear.

Perceived eccentricity or not, he may well be onto something.

Gadgets in the wash

THE smaller the gadget, the more likely it is to be found in the bottom of the washing machine after the wet clothes have been removed. Bloggers on the website have been investigating the relative fitness of different models confronted with this evolutionary pressure.

They conclude that the iPod Shuffle is the fittest of them all. That figures: as the smallest, it’s the most likely to undergo trial by laundry. It also uses a semiconductor memory chip, which has a reasonable chance of surviving the washing machine, rather than a hard disk drive.

Even so, the bloggers warn, you will need to let it dry out for a week or so and warm it every now and then using a blow-dryer on a low setting before you dare risk plugging it in again. So next time, checking the pockets before putting your clothes in the wash might be a lot better for your music collection, if not for your understanding of gadget evolution.

Axe-wielding Lewney

“AXE-WIELDING ‘Lewney’ is new face of UK science”, reads the headline on the press release. “Dr Mark Lewney, a physicist from Cardiff, has won FameLab – the science world’s equivalent of Pop Idol,” it goes on. Apparently, “Mark’s ‘electrifying’ performance on the physics of music, complete with electric guitar riffs, had the audience and judges at the Cheltenham Science Festival enthralled”. Lewney, who works as a patent examiner in the UK Patent Office near Newport, “was selected to go through to the FameLab final at a regional heat held in Cardiff”.

Call Feedback a cynic, but all this evokes toe-curling images of dad dancing to disco music and other self-defeating exercises of parents trying to be cool to the horror of their teenagers. (“Axe”, Your Honour, was once popular-musician slang for “guitar”.) Even so, we offer our congratulations to Lewney and wonder enviously when there might be a gap in the competitions market for editors of humour pages in weekly science magazines with the word “new” in the title.

And no, we’re not going to say anything at all about the winner’s surname.

Physios bend the figures

“DO NOT mark the ballot paper with an ‘X’,” the Chartered Society of Physiotherapists reminds members voting for its new council. “Write the figure 1 next to the candidate you most wish to be elected. Write the figure 2 next to your second most preferred candidate. Write the figure 3 next to your third preference. Write the figure 3 next to your fourth preference
do not write the same figure more than once.”

Physiotherapists, of course, are good at bending things.

Urinate as directed

USERS of Alcon’s Naphcon A eye drops are warned: “Do not use this product if you have heart disease, high blood pressure, narrow angle glaucoma or trouble urinating unless directed by a physician.” Jeanette Lauritsen, who spotted this, wonders whether it refers in some inverse way to people who become inhibited when instructed to “pee into the cup”. Which prompts Feedback to wonder how many urinary problems could be cured by simple written messages on the walls of the facilities – signed by qualified physicians, of course.

“”Speak when light flashes”. A reasonable instruction on a safety intercom on the Brisbane, Australia, airport-to-city train. But what, Ann Smith wants to know, is the point of repeating that instruction in Braille?”

3000 per cent cheaper

SOLAR glazing manufacturer XsunX announces confidently (at ) that the plastic films on which it bases its transparent solar cells are “between 900 per cent and 3000 per cent cheaper” than the competition. So Feedback really, really trusts the rest of their calculations. And wonders how any light gets through the layer of dollar bills that someone seems to be giving away with the film.

Golfing dogs

FINALLY, while walking his dog, Ian Fraser encountered a sign insisting in stentorian capitals, “No dog walking or exercising on new course unless playing golf”. They were forced to cut the walk short, since the Jack Russell had not brought his clubs.