IN THE course of writing an essay on the late Roman republic, Chris Carter started to describe a meeting of the Roman senate that took place on 3 December 63 BC. As soon as he typed this in, Word produced a pop-up asking if he would like to schedule a meeting for that date. Eager though he was for the opportunity to chat with Julius Caesar and his contemporaries, Carter felt obliged, for practical reasons, to decline.
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SEVERAL readers have written in to tell us that our âI used to think I was indecisive but now Iâm not so sureâ joke is very old (16 April). They then went on to tell us similar jokes that we suspect were also very old. Despite this, two contributions particularly pleased us. One, which may also be apocryphal, concerns Niels Bohr, who reputedly kept a lucky horseshoe. When challenged that surely he didnât believe in such superstitious nonsense, he replied: âOf course not, but I understand it works even if you donât believe in it.â
Thanks to Elaine Shipton for that, and to Gerry Wolff for telling us that some people think that the writings of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin have profound meaning, but others think they are merely deep on the surface and shallow underneath.
SUNDAY 8 May, the date of the Time Traveler Convention that we announced after it had happened last week, was cold, rainy and miserable in Massachusetts, which might explain why none of the hoped-for âconfirmed time travellersâ turned up for it. They presumably knew in advance â or with hindsight. This suggests that the people organising such conventions ought to be time travellers themselves, as they would know what weather to expect.
Meanwhile, we are told that the convention was a success with those people from our own time who visited it, involving as it did âa great series of lectures and awesome bandsâ. And it still may be worthwhile publicising the event because, depending on which time-travel paradox you adhere to, visitors reading the publicity in the future may still be able to attend it even though none was there as far as our perception of the current time frame is concerned.
GENEROUSLY conceding Peter Shawâs right to claim the coining of âredundant translation syndromeâ and to a first in the Latin division with âseize the carpe diemâ (2 April), Hal Kouns becomes a strong contender in the French division by pointing out that over the years he has received a number of requests to âplease RSVPâ. But he has a challenger in Tom Reidy in Brussels, who read our piece on this topic only to switch on the TV news and hear a cardinal described as âparmi des âtop tenâ des dix premiers candidatsâ for pope.
Meanwhile, Nick Papadakis storms into the Spanish division by reminding us of the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles â or, translated, the The Tar Tar Pits. No doubt there will be more.
MARINE biologists can identify some âsea serpentsâ of yore by carefully reading accounts by ancient mariners. But sometimes critical details donât quite match, like a âmost dreadful monsterâ seen off the coast of Greenland in 1734 by the son of Danish-Norwegian missionary Hans Egede. Accounts of the sighting said the creatureâs body was as thick as the boat, and three to four times as long. Although it had broad flippers and spouted water like a whale, Egede didnât recognise it as one. But he was quite specific about one distinctly un-whale-like detail. The beast had a âsnake-like tailâ that stuck up from the water.
Whalesâ tails are distinctly un-snake-like and do not normally stick up from the water, so what could explain this? Perhaps it was a different organ, one not normally seen by sailors, writes Charles Paxton of the University of St Andrews, Scotland, in Archives of Natural History (vol 32, p 1). Egede might not have recognised whales that were rare in the North Atlantic, such as right whales or the now extinct Atlantic population of grey whales. The penises of these whales are snake-like and normally retracted, but when the whaleâs are aroused they can extend to 1.8 metres.
âWhat, Geoff Holman wants to know, powers the display of the message âbattery emptyâ on his mobile phone?â
Paxton doesnât think whale penises can explain all sea-serpent sightings, but he suggests that they can explain the Egede one, and that they might also account for the âwhitish pillarâ seen by the crew of the ship Pauline among a pod of sperm whales âfrantic with excitementâ in 1875.
AND another truncated email subject line. Claire Vernazza was disconcerted to receive an email at work warning her of a âVery noisy weeâ. On opening the message, she learned that part of her office would be out of action the following Saturday and Sunday. The full title of the email was âVery noisy weekend work warningâ.
FINALLY, thanks to several readers who wrote in commenting on our piece about the Irish Independentâs report of a 200 per cent fall in Irish cattle exports (9 April). They point out that rather than exporting negative cattle, perhaps all this means is that the Irish had to import as many cattle as they exported previously.
