RUNNING a teleconference isn’t usually beyond even modestly techno-savvy people, but it almost foiled NASA when the agency tried to tell journalists about its efforts to return the space shuttle to flight.
Reporters duly called in before the planned telephone press conference, expecting to hear something from NASA. Instead, they heard a radio news programme. At least one reporter hung up and called NASA to make sure he had the right conference code. Eventually, NASA got on the line, but the radio programme remained considerably louder and clearer than the NASA public affairs people.
It seems that one of the reporters who called in had put his phone on hold while he was waiting for the conference to begin in order to get on with something else – treating all the other callers to the radio programme his phone system used as “on-hold music”. He then forgot all about it – and neither NASA nor the teleconferencing company could work out how to turn it off.
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After about 20 minutes of frustrated fumbling, they finally instructed everyone to call in again on a new line. Only then could the teleconference get off the ground.
LAST WEEK we told the story about researchers at Purdue University in Indiana who have worked out how to weigh a virus (27 March). But what’s the best way to weigh a baby?
Fred Noy writes to tell us how, when he was waiting in his doctor’s waiting room, a nurse was explaining to a group of women how their infants were weighed.
“First of all, we weigh the mother on her own. Then we weigh the mother while she holds her baby. Then we subtract the mother’s weight from the combined weight of mother and baby and we then have the baby’s weight.”
At which point one of the women said: “Sorry, nurse, but that won’t work for me.”
“Why ever not?” asked the nurse.
The woman replied: “I’m the baby’s aunt.”
IDLY wandering the web in search of new “wallpaper” images for the Feedback computer, we found ourselves looking at images of Mars. Many are, to our untutored eye, quite beautiful, and copying some for personal use is explicitly allowed – including those from Malin Space Science Systems at , which manages the Mars Orbiter Camera.
MSSS offers an “image of the day” with an informative caption. It is normally a single, cleaned-up image at full resolution.
But what’s this on 15 September 2003? Ten different files, some over 2 megabytes, pedantically labelled “Pre-validated/unprocessed” and containing a group of distinctly streaked and murky images.
Ah yes. They depict the “Face in Cydonia” – the Martian hill that in some ancient images looked a bit like eyes and a nose. Apparently, anyone who tries to do us the courtesy of providing clear, cleaned-up views of this interesting area of Mars will incur the wrath of the green ink brigade, who will claim it’s a fake, a government cover-up and probably part of the plot to protect the fiend who murdered Marilyn Monroe.
THERE can be few surprises left in the wonderful world of Windows error messages, but a colleague was intrigued when his office system, running Windows 2000 Pro Server, suddenly refused to install a new program. Up came this error message: “Cannot copy file. The maximum number of secrets that may be stored in a single system has been exceeded.”
Needless to say, there was no useful help on what this means, or how to fix it. Our colleague can only assume that he had been sold a second-hand computer, previously used by the CIA or MI5.
A CATALOGUE recently popped through Feedback’s door. As well as the usual ads for a magic fluid to clean gravestones, a magnetic knee strap, a combined TV, radio and emergency siren and some “Atomic Bond” glue, it offered the chance to “save £1000 on the cost of buying a computer”.
How, we wondered, can one possibly save so much money on a computer?
Easy. Just buy the “classic retro style” manual typewriter for £50. You save on the electric bills, too, assures the catalogue.
To which we would add, this is one system that will never crash, unless you drop it.
FINALLY, when Tony and Elisabeth Compton were at the University of Cambridge for their daughter’s MA graduation ceremony they were intrigued by the list of degree hoods in the official graduation booklet. They were particularly struck by the following pair of entries: “Bachelor of Medicine: mid-cherry silk and white fur. Bachelor of Veterinary Medicine: similar to the hood for Bachelor of Medicine, but with more fur.”
From the department of redundancy. Timothy Bowden tells us that an article in a recent issue of Signal magazine states: “Soon, the ability to log on to the internet may become as ubiquitous as the web itself”
