“Oh Valentine, since you came to me you’re always in my thoughts. I’ll never forget the night we met and you gave me genital warts.â€
A spoof valentine card produced as part of a UK government campaign to reduce the spread of sexually transmitted diseases
“This is nothing but a mean and groundless propaganda.â€
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North Korea’s official news agency denies claims that the country bought nuclear technology from Pakistani nuclear scientist Abdul Qadeer Khan (Reuters, 10 February)
“He can keep his money.â€
Pakistan’s President Pervez Musharraf on Abdul Qadeer Khan, the scientist who sold nuclear secrets to other nations (The Sunday Telegraph, London, 8 February)
“Ukrainians simply must fly to the moon. Not all, however. Somebody must remain for flights to the Mars.â€
Ukraine’s President Leonid Kuchma on collaborating in international projects for manned missions to the moon and Mars (Associated Press, 2 February)
“If you’re a bad guy and you want to frustrate law enforcement, use a Mac.â€
Assistant Special Agent Dave Thomas of the St Louis Division of the FBI (SecurityFocus.com, 21 January)
“I think they’re going to be a little confused – the world as they knew it is going to be somewhat tilted.â€
Sharon Ehasz of Tempe, Arizona, on the successful operation to separate her two conjoined tortoises (Associated Press, 9 February)