OUR candidate for best press-release headline of the year is the one we received recently from the US National Science Foundation: 鈥淐atapulting Barbie Doll Heads鈥�.
We certainly read on 鈥� and found that, following concern that traditional science teaching may be alienating to girls, the NSF had funded 225 projects aimed at sparking girls鈥� interest in science, maths and technology.
The press release reviews the results and asks: 鈥淲ould you have loved physics more if you started the course by having to devise a catapult that would get the head of a Barbie doll over the castle wall during a mock medieval siege?鈥�
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It goes on: 鈥淚n one project, girls had to figure out that they needed to give a Barbie head weight by inserting lead sinkers into it, but they also learned that it was easier to catapult a potato.鈥�
Useful knowledge indeed.
AND talking of press releases, we were a little surprised to get one from the UK鈥檚 Rutherford Appleton Laboratory informing us that a model of the European Space Agency鈥檚 Smart-1 satellite would be on display at this year鈥檚 Great British Cheese Festival at Blenheim Palace, not far from the lab in Oxfordshire.
What鈥檚 more, the press release tells us that a local chef has created a new recipe 鈥� cheesy moon tart with honeyed onions 鈥� to mark the occasion.
Reading on, we discovered why. The spacecraft, launched on 27 September and now on its way to the moon, is loaded with a toaster-sized spectrometer made by the Rutherford Appleton lab which will carry out a survey of the moon鈥檚 surface to determine what it is made of.
But, of course, many people think they know that already 鈥� the moon is made of green cheese. So what could be more appropriate than to publicise the mission at a cheese festival?
WE ARE glad to have discovered a website with some really useful information. At you can find full instructions on how to make a 鈥渢hought screen helmet鈥� that 鈥渂locks telepathic communication between aliens and human beings鈥�.
Invented by someone called Michael Menkin in 1998, the helmet uses 鈥淰elostat鈥� shielding, and is apparently easy to make if you follow the instructions. 鈥淎liens,鈥� we are told, 鈥渃annot immobilise people wearing thought screens nor can they control their minds or communicate with them.鈥�
This is very good news, but can we be sure it works? According to one Jon Locke, whose picture (plus helmet) appears on the site, there is no doubt. 鈥淪ince trying Michael Menkin鈥檚 helmet, I have not been bothered by alien mind control,鈥� he says. 鈥淣ow my thoughts are my own.鈥�
And there鈥檚 further proof: 鈥淪ince January 2000, aliens have not taken any abductees while they were wearing thought screen helmets using Velostat shielding.鈥�
Pretty convincing 鈥� except that Feedback, who does not wear a thought screen helmet, hasn鈥檛 been abducted by aliens since January 2000 either. But perhaps there鈥檚 another reason for this that we are not yet aware of.
FROM the department of quack science 鈥� sorry, the 鈥渃utting-edge health products鈥� of Electronic Healing, 鈥� comes the Food and Drink Energiser. 鈥淭he chrome-ended tubular device鈥ontains highly programmed media capable of holding and transmitting the energy of minerals, vitamins and enzymes to food and drink in a fully interactive manner within a 1.5-metre radius. This has the effect of increasing the life-force energy of the food and drink.鈥�
If you are inclined to believe this nonsense, go ahead and buy this thing, put it in your fridge, and lo! the life-force energy of your carrots will be amplified. And it will only cost you 拢99.
PHAGOPHOBIA is the fear of eating. Reader Jonathan Harris was surprised to discover how drastic the normal method of treating it is. On The Phobia Clinic website (), he read: 鈥淓ach year, this common phobia causes countless thousands of people needless distress. To add insult to an already distressing condition, most phagophobia therapies take months or years and sometimes even require the patient to be exposed repeatedly to swallowing, eating, or being eaten over and over again.鈥�
AND here鈥檚 an abbreviated subject line that reader Lucy Causton liked better than the real thing. The October email newsletter of the UK鈥檚 National Union of Students leads with a story about the battle against the proposed university 鈥渢op-up鈥� fees. The headline is: 鈥淪tart the new academic year with a huge demonstration!鈥� But Causton, who says she is not the keen political type, preferred it when it said: 鈥淪tart the new academic year with a hug.鈥�
FINALLY, more on confusing names. Reader Joyce Pountain tells us that she and her husband arranged to meet a friend at a restaurant in Glasgow. They took a cab, saying to the driver, 鈥淕enoa Restaurant, please鈥�.
His reply was: 鈥淎ye. What kind of restaurant did you want?鈥�
The instructions for the Outbound tent bought by reader Dominic Cleal wisely warned him: 鈥淎lways erect tent before use鈥�
