SILLY theory of the week comes via the Japanese news site Mainichi, which features 鈥渟aucy stories from Japan鈥檚 wild weeklies鈥�. (). According to Rikao Yanagida, described by Mainichi as 鈥渉ead of a think tank鈥�, the dinosaurs died out not because of an asteroid impact but because they made too much noise when they were mating.
鈥淓ven if you calculated that dinosaurs only have the same impact when thrusting as humans,鈥� Yanagida told the weekly Shukan Hoseki, 鈥渁t 100 tonnes, thrusting every 6.7 seconds would create 2200 kilowatts of energy. About 50 per cent of that energy becomes noise. If dinosaurs were having sex, the noise would be tremendous. It would kill any humans within a 130-metre radius.
鈥淲hat鈥檚 more, omnivorous dinosaurs travelled in groups, so when they had sex the sounds they emitted would have killed off all the small dinosaurs around them. That robbed the carnivorous dinosaurs of their food, making them extinct, too.鈥�
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Interesting idea, but somehow we鈥檙e more convinced by the asteroid impact theory.
A FRIEND who has just returned from the World Summit in Johannesburg reports that some of what went on there made him feel just a little cynical.
Take, for instance, a meeting he attended about NEPAD 鈥� the New Partnership for Africa鈥檚 Development. This is the scheme in which the continent鈥檚 rulers have promised to promote democracy, listen to their people more and uphold the rule of law. In return, richer governments say they will invest in Africa and provide more development aid.
The spirit of this new partnership was aptly demonstrated at the meeting, a 鈥渄ialogue鈥� between African non-government organisations and environment ministers. Having listened patiently to a torrent of criticism from NGOs complaining about how little consultation there had been on NEPAD, one minister could contain himself no longer. 鈥淲hat is wrong with you people?鈥� he exclaimed. 鈥淲e are your rulers and you should listen to what we have to say.鈥�
WITH 60,000 delegates from nearly 200 countries, there were more cocktail receptions at the summit than you shake a little pointy stick at. Our friend says the prize for the most innovative invitation card should go to the European Commission. Its invitations were printed on chunks of plywood, presumably to save on the environmental and financial costs of turning wood into paper.
A SUMMIT to eradicate poverty should, in theory, be an affordable event. But not this summit, where our friend says the charge for most goods and services was well above market rates. One of the worst offenders was the UN itself. A copy of a UN report on poverty in the world鈥檚 least developed countries was priced at a whopping $40 鈥� putting it well beyond the reach of delegates from the countries that most needed it.
FINALLY, our friend reports that apartheid may be history in South Africa, but its spirit appears to live on 鈥� in some places, at least. For a little more than $25 per month, residents of Johannesburg鈥檚 more affluent, white suburbs can rent their own private armies through the flourishing domestic security industry.
Most companies promise to provide an 鈥渁rmed response鈥� to burglaries. One goes so far as to advertise an 鈥渁rmed reaction force鈥� if someone succeeds in cutting the iron bars and electric fences that protect many of these houses.
Plus 莽a change鈥�
ON THE front of the packet of Minomycin antibiotics prescribed for reader Andrew Varvel in Cherrybrook, New South Wales, is a bright yellow sticker stating: 鈥淒o not take dairy products, antacids, iron or calcium supplements within two hours of each dose of this medicine.鈥� Clearly printed on the back of the packet is the advice: 鈥淚t is recommended that each dose of Minomycin be taken with a meal or a glass of milk.鈥�
THOSE who are made nervous by the uncertainties of life in the modern world will have been reassured by the scientific programme at the 10th World Congress on the Menopause held in Berlin a couple of months ago.
鈥淭he scientific programme,鈥� delegates were told in a handout, 鈥渋s structured according to days. Each day starts with the session in the first timeslot, continuing with the following timeslots and ending with the last session at the end of the day.鈥�
How soothingly unsurprising.
MOST of us know someone whose parents gave them a name that might have sounded good when they were born, but which they came to loathe when they grew up. Some of us had narrow escapes of our own, with parents admitting many years after that 鈥渨e almost named you鈥� some name that would have made us a laughing stock.
Now the makers of the Turok computer game have guaranteed a new generation of unfortunates. This summer, they promised to pay $10,000 to the first US parents to name their child 鈥淭urok鈥� on 1 September. For the sake of the potential victims, we have held back from giving the website until now, when it鈥檚 too late for parents to inflict this indignity on their children (). Not that we really believe 51动漫 readers would do such a thing anyway鈥�
Is business going badly for Britain鈥檚 Alliance & Leicester bank? According to their website, 鈥淓very customer is different, which is why Alliance & Leicester offer a choice of two credit cards.鈥�
