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THE NUCLEAR industry has been accused of many things, but can it really be held responsible for the latest shock to hit France?

We are referring, of course, to the first round of the French presidential election, in which, to the complete astonishment even of many who voted for him, Jean-Marie Le Pen, long-time leader of France’s extreme right, came in second to the incumbent President, Jacques Chirac, meaning the two will face each other for the final run-off.

Such sudden pre-eminence for the man who called the Holocaust a “detail of history”, and wants to send France’s immigrants back where they came from, has struck the French as so bizarre that some are seeking non-political explanations.

One making the rounds of the Internet is, we have to say, rather compelling. When you map the regions where Le Pen came first, those where he came second, and those where he lagged behind, you practically recreate the map of the regions of France where the caesium fallout from Chernobyl was heaviest, less heavy, and least. Both form a diminishing gradient from east to west.

This sort of geographical fit would have most epidemiologists rushing to publish a paper—if they could only think up a plausible mechanism linking exposure to radioactive fallout in 1986 to paranoid right-wing politics in 2002.

ČѰä¶Ù°ż±·ŽĄłą¶Ù’S recently ran a competition to coincide with the opening in Britain of the film Monsters, Inc. Leaflets at McDonald’s outlets detailed the rules of the competition, including a list of those not eligible to enter. These were: “(i) Employees and immediate family members of employees of any of McDonald’s Restaurants Limited (‘the Promoter’), its respective franchisees, subsidiaries, agents and advisers, (ii) other persons assisting with this promotion, (iii) any person not being a natural person, and (iv) any syndicate or collection of persons acting in concert.”

Does that mean clones can’t enter?

THANKS to a newsletter put out by former Australian environment minister Simon Upton, we can share with you an exciting development in online information—the Australian National Public Toilet Map. We’re immediately reminded of novelist Thomas Pynchon’s skit on military specialisation gone bananas—the fearsome Toiletship RĂŒcksichtslos steaming the seamier end of the Baltic in search of 
 whatever.

However, Upton, who alerted us to the existence of the map in his email newsletter Upton-on-line, is not entirely happy about the map’s name. He says in his newsletter: “Sticking with the U-form—’lavatory’ or the relaxed weekend variant ‘loo’—would have been so much classier: Lavmap or Loomap.”

But, of course, there’s a serious point. Anyone needing to travel round Australia with someone who’s continently challenged, whether because of extreme youth or otherwise, can prepare themselves with a visit to

Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be a WAP-enabled version that could give you the information on your mobile phone when you really need to go, and could at last provide a real use for that over-hyped technology. But mobile phones probably don’t work anywhere near the toilet the website shows in the desert, 500 kilometres west of Alice Springs. There is no shortage of places to go here, though you may have to bring your own bush.

IT’S A PITY they can’t teach search engines a bit of chemistry. Trying to find out about the latest research on a group of nitrogen-containing organic compounds, a colleague of Feedback was stumped when all that Google would throw up were bizarre Belgian websites, a student homepage and an activist group, and a few children’s sites about mammals, fish, birds and such. It didn’t take long for our friend to spot the problem: poor spelling.

After all, why should Google know that when our colleague said he was looking for sites containing the word “aminal”, he, unlike the sites he was directed to, was spelling his word correctly.

And yes, there really was a site about “aminal liberation”.

AND WHILE on the subject of spelling, Tatiana Hitchen tells us she recently cleared out her Hotmail junk mail folder. There, among the email spams about debt consolidation and herbal Viagra, was an email with the subject line: “Dramatically Enhances Organism”.

Is this a form of artificially induced evolution, she wondered?

AND TALKING of spams, several readers have told us about one they’ve received from Britain’s directory enquiry service, the 192.com newsletter. Here’s how it goes: “Welcome to the 1st ever 192.com newsletter! Every month we will keep you abreast of new features on 192.com and valuable offers we believe our customers should read about 
 Featured this month: New 192 features, Free email and SMS; How to stop junk mail; Exclusive 192.com offer 
”

A spam promoting a feature on how to stop spam? Come on.

THE ONLINE florist bloomingbulb.com offers—among many other horticultural delights—the mosquito plant (citronella) at $5.88 for one, $8.88 for two and $11.88 for three. Underneath the price list is the following “special note”: “This product only sold in multiples of 1. Please order in these quantities only.” Eh?

KINETIN Skincare anti-ageing cream will “reverse, delay and prevent visible signs of skin ageing.” However, it comes with a warning: “Use on children under 6 months only with the advice of a physician.”

FINALLY, having bought a packet of Walkers Deep Ridge Potato Crisps, reader J. R. Brock was relieved to notice that the 17 x 11-centimetre crisp shown on the front of the packet was accompanied by the message “Not actual size”.