THERE isnât much to do in Newfoundland in winter, now the cod have been fished to oblivion. One pastime is to see what you can catch through holes in the ice; pneumonia doesnât count.
Errol Squires thought heâd won one such contest in St Johnâs this winter, when he reeled in an eel that weighed a whopping 1.1 kilograms. Imagine his chagrin when the prize went instead to a skinny little trout weighing a quarter as muchâon the grounds that it was a fish, and the eel wasnât.
Perhaps this is understandable in a province where âfishâ universally means cod. But the University of British Columbia Fisheries Centre takes serious exception to the decision. Eels are fish, storms centre scientist Nigel Haggan, and of a far more ancient lineage than trout. Far more.
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It seems the reason eels swim thousands of kilometres from European and North American rivers to the mid-Atlantic to spawn every year is because, at one time, it wasnât much of a trip. But over the millions of years that eels have been doing this, the narrow channel between Europe and North America has widened a mite.
âEels have already suffered much due to a cruel twist of plate tectonics,â Haggan laments. He feels Squires deserves the prizeâa 14-foot motor boatâand that eels everywhere deserve an apology. But maybe apologising to fish is not a habit Newfoundlanders want to get into.
WHEN employees at Microsoftâs British division in Reading phone the internal help desk because, for example, a light above their heads is flickering and distracting them, the holding music they hear while they wait for a response is the Louis Armstrong number We Have All the Time in the World..
It must be quite irritating.
YOU never realise a personâs far-reaching cultural impact until they die. Palaeontologist Stephen Jay Gould was famed for his erudite writings as well as for his research on evolution, so when he died it wasnât at all surprising to read an outpouring of statements from science writers, palaeontologists and other intellectuals.
However, it was quite surprising to see a tribute at the end of an episode of The Simpsons TV cartoon series. It turns out that the erudite Gould once made a cameo cartoon appearance on the show. So tagged onto the credits of the show that aired two days after his death was the simple memorial âThis Episode in Memory of Stephen J. Gouldâ, accompanied by a clip of his cartoon appearance in the earlier episode.
ACCORDING to CNN.com, NASA has developed a gel that is 99.8 per cent air and has been designated the least dense solid in the world by Guinness World Records. The site tells us that âthe record-breaking gel is composed of silicon dioxide and sandâ.
Reader Christopher Blandford wonders if they used dihydrogen monoxide and water when making it.
ANDY RIDGEWELL was looking through last summerâs report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, entitled IPCC Special Report: Land use, land-use change, and forestry: summary for policymakers. Glancing at âAppendix IIIâGlossaryâ, he noticed the following definitions: âReservoirâA pool. PoolâSee âCarbon Poolâ. Carbon PoolâA reservoir.â
No wonder negotiating climate treaties takes so long.
JUST YESTERDAY Feedback needed to buy, in a hurry, yet another of those leads that connects a laptop to the telephone system. The only one on sale in the neighbourhood seemed to be a miracle of technology. The High Speed Internet Modem Cable from Belkin bears a lifetime warranty and promises âmaximum performanceâ, possibly due to 24-carat gold plating for âoptimum conductivityâ. And yes, itâs a tad more expensive than your generic wire.
Specifically, it claims âdata transmission speeds up to 100 Mbpsâ. Firmly welded to one end is a plug of the type which, in Feedbackâs experience, only connects to the British public telephone network. Now the phone network can only manage a data transfer rate of 38 Mbps, maximum. So how can the lead move bits any faster than that?
On the same magical-thinking principle, and shamelessly exploiting those who donât want to think about how anything works, Feedback is now planning to market a lead with added eye of newt that promises to deliver only emails bearing good news.
READER Biff Bernon was registering the bed and breakfast guest house he runs with bandbBritain.com, but not a lot happened when he hit the submit button. He clicked it again and was told the following: âYou have already submitted the form. Please be patient. The Internet has had a busy day and is a little tired. As soon as it catches its breath, it will deliver your registration confirmation.â Ahhhh.
THE LATEST catalogue from Innovations advertises a designer version of a battery-operated torch that features âa chrome-finished touch strip, curved matt silver front and elegant opaque lensâ.
Is this, at last, the source of the fabled dark light?
SICK BAGS on Qantas airlines state at the top âIf affected by motion sickness please use this bagâ. Underneath, it says: âPlease take this bag with you and pass on to family or friends if you are unable to useâ.
Reader Jenny Narroway tells us that no matter how hard she tried she was unable to be sick in the bag on her flight to New Zealand. She hopes her family and friends will have more success.
FINALLY, Ladybird childrenâs sandals carry a particularly informative label telling purchasers what the sandals are made of. It says: âUpperâ other material. Liningâother material/textile. Soleâ other material.â
