SINCE 11 September, press releases describing research findings have often
borne the hallmarks of hasty rewriting to incorporate the word 鈥渢errorism鈥� in
the headline or introduction. Work on epidemiology or toxicology that has been
going on for years is suddenly billed as a response to the World Trade Center
and Pentagon attacks.
A story from the University of Georgia is sadly typical: 鈥淎s the United
States prepares militarily to fight terrorism,鈥� it begins, 鈥淎mericans can more
successfully deal with the long-term stress that may become a part of our lives
by making slight adjustments in what we eat . . . 鈥�
There is nothing wrong with the advice that follows: people predisposed to
diabetes should reduce their caloric intake, especially sugar, and 鈥渋ncreasing
exercise can also help the body deal with stress鈥�. But this is no more true
after 11 September than it was before.
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IT HAD to happen sooner or later鈥攁 green beauty contest.
According to the Ananova news site, competitors for the world鈥檚 first 鈥淢iss
Earth鈥� beauty pageant are currently arriving in the Philippines. As part of the
contest, the 50 competitors will plant trees and answer questions about the
environment. They will also, of course, parade about in swimsuits and long
gowns. The winner will be announced on 28 October.
THEY鈥橵E DONE it again! On 17 February we reported on a ludicrous article in
The Times sports section claiming that people can benefit from
so-called 鈥渙xygen therapy鈥� because the atmosphere鈥檚 oxygen level has declined
drastically since the 1800s.
Sadly, it seems the people at The Times don鈥檛 read Feedback. A
couple of weeks ago, on 13 October, the same nonsense was repeated in Jennai
Cox鈥檚 鈥淐asebook鈥� column, which purports to provide health advice to readers.
鈥淚t might interest you to know,鈥� Cox wrote, 鈥渢hat pre-1900 oxygen levels in
the air were around 32 per cent; today they can be as low as 10 per cent in
cities such as Tokyo, where oxygen bars originated.鈥�
We can only repeat what we said in February: oxygen levels have remained
fairly constant at around 21 per cent for the past 300 million years or
so鈥攁nd this remains true in Tokyo as well as everywhere else.
Are you listening, The Times?
THE GOVERNMENT of Newfoundland and Labrador appears to have an unshakable
belief in life after death. In the section of the Canadian province鈥檚 website
that explains how to obtain a death certificate
(www.gov.nf.ca/gsl/gs/vs/death_certificate.stm), the person making the
application is told: 鈥淏e sure to include the following information: The deceased
full name and sex鈥擠ate of Death鈥擯lace of Death鈥� Age at time of
death鈥擫ast address of deceased鈥擸our complete mailing address and
telephone number and state your relationship to the person named on the
certificate if, for any reason, you are not that person.鈥�
THE DAY when machines can think may already have arrived. Reader John Noble
sent an e-mail to the Barclays Bank website and got back an automated response
from the bank鈥檚 server with the following disclaimer: 鈥淎ny views or opinions
presented are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those
of the Barclays Group.鈥�
PEOPLE WHO nurse the desire to examine 78 different kinds of poop can now do
so in Japan, where an animal and human excrement display is being shown at the
Tokyo Science Museum. The exhibit鈥攖itled 鈥淎ll the Poop鈥濃�攁rrived in
Tokyo last month from Osaka. The organisers say they want children to learn
about health and the environment by seeing fossils and dried dung heaps.
Visitors learn that a hyena鈥檚 droppings are slightly white because they eat
bones. Koala poop smells good because they eat eucalyptus leaves.
Museum visits are incomplete without souvenirs, and this one won鈥檛
disappoint. Big sellers in the museum shop include moose-dropping key chains,
wrapping paper made of recycled elephant dung, and postcards of animals
鈥减辞辞辫颈苍驳鈥�.
HERE ARE some examples of a word being devalued to the point where it loses
all its meaning. Australian reader Tom Richards says he picked up a bottle of
water the other day made by Gold Medal Drinks that was proudly labelled as
coming from Victoria鈥檚 Snowy Mountains. Not only did the label announce that the
water was 鈥渙rganic鈥�, it even added that it was 鈥渟ourced from organic rock
蝉辫谤颈苍驳蝉鈥�.
Meanwhile, back in Britain, reader Judy Bogart tells us that the bag of
Uni-Gro horticultural sand she bought recently for her greenhouse was labelled
鈥減remium organic sand鈥�.
So here鈥檚 a question for the world鈥檚 product labellers: if water, rocks and
sand can be described as 鈥渙rganic鈥�, please tell us what the word鈥檚 opposite,
鈥渋norganic鈥�, can possibly apply to?
READER Chris McManus鈥檚 two daughters were delighted to receive a jigsaw of
Noah鈥檚 Ark, made by Ravensburger. But he was startled to see that it includes
two dinosaurs. Should they be allowed in? As he says, it鈥檚 a problem that poses
鈥渟ome very interesting biological and theological questions鈥�.
ACCORDING TO the Australian newspaper, the recently discovered
dinosaur named Elliot 鈥渄ied 95 million years ago during the later part of the
Crustacean Period鈥�
BOB GODDARD informs us he bought a tube of Bond It General Purpose Adhesive
which told him: 鈥淎pply an even film to both surfaces to be bonded. Avoid contact
with skin. Leave to touch dry.鈥�
FINALLY, our thanks to reader Henry Parkes, who points out that in this very
column (29 September) we let a rare example of triple RAS syndrome (redundant
acronym syndrome . . . ) pass without comment. So let鈥檚 hear it again for the
鈥淢PC mobile protection chip鈥�.
