WE HAVE only just become aware of a splendid website set up by Digital
Freedom Network back on 28 September 2000. It gives the results of a âfoil the
filterâ contest aimed at illustrating the unreliability of
censorwareâsoftware designed to filter out undesirable material on the
Internet.
The grand prize went to Joe J., who reported being prevented from accessing
his own high schoolâs website from his own high schoolâs library. It seems
Carroll High School had adopted filtering software which blocked âall
questionable materialâ. This included the word âhighâ.
The runner-up was a user named Hillary Anne, whose attempts to register the
e-mail address register hillaryanne@hotmail.com were rejected because censorware
spotted the hidden word âaryanâ.
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The site goes on to list dozens more examples of censorware absurdity, but
our favourites have to be the joint winners of the âpoetic justice awardâ. To
quote in full:
âAn anonymous submitter noticed that the website of Richard âDickâ Armey,
Majority Leader of the US House of Representatives and a staunch defender of
censorware and strict Internet regulation, is himself a victim of censorware.
Net Nanny, SurfWatch, CYBERsitter, N2H2, and Wisechoice are among the âsoftware
solutionsâ which Armey advocates. All of them filter his site because it
contains the word âdickâ.
âThe conservative group Focus on the Family intends its anti-porn site Pure
Intimacy to be a âresource for those struggling with sexual temptationsâ and the
âpsychological bondageâ that is âa major reason why individuals go onlineâ. Jim
K. observed that CYBERsitter blocked this site for violating the following
categories: porno, hardcoreporno, sexual, nudity, and, of course, bondage.â
Go to dfn.org/focus/censor/contest.htm to see the rest of the winners.
THE Ananova news service carries, along with straight news, a âphenomenaâ
section of stories that need to be taken with a pinch of salt. A recent
selection was:
⢠UFOs spotted over Kuala Lumpur.
⢠Sorcerer âto blameâ for village womenâs swooning frenzy.
⢠Witchcraft blamed for spontaneous combustion of Indian huts.
⢠Hundreds see âJesusâ on Muslimâs house.
⢠NASA finds evidence of black holes.
⢠Eight Turks arrested for shooting at Moon.
Which of these stories, we ask ourselves, is the most improbable?
RUNNING through a pre-print database, we thought for a moment that
researchers had discovered a strange new therapy. One paper was entitled
âNose-Hoover dynamics for coherent statesâ.
Eager to know more, we read onâonly to be told: âThe popular method of
Nose and Hoover to create canonically distributed positions and momenta in
classical molecular dynamics simulations is generalised to a genuine quantum
system of infinite dimensionalityâŚâ
Shame.
SOME people will try and sell you anything. Reader Hugh MacDiarmid was using
AltaVista to conduct a Web search on the word âprionsâ. After a list of
websites, the following advice appeared: âHave you tried these resources:
Comparison shop for prions. Let the merchants come to you! Shop by request for
prions at Respond.com.â
Somehow, the idea of having the prion merchants come to him made MacDiarmid
feel uneasy, so he didnât follow this particular link.
SCHOOL science books are getting awfully jokey these days, probably in a bid
to make young people see science as fun rather than fuddy-duddy. For example,
reader Lawrence McVeigh informs us that the cover of his sonâs new copy of
Key Stage Three Mathematics Revision Guide bears the instruction âShake
well before useâ. Meanwhile, John Richter of Rushmoor School, Bedford, tells us
that his physics workbook says on the back: âIf this book is accidentally
swallowed, drink plenty of milk.â
Very droll.
UNTIL very recently, we learn, there was a number in the University of
Cambridge internal telephone directory entitled âPayments to the Examinersâ. The
anonymous reader who has told us this says that he resisted the temptation to
phone and ask for the going rate for a 1st in physics. Just as well. The entry
has now been changed to âExaminers Appointments and Paymentsâ.
ONE of the most interesting exhibits in Londonâs Science Museum is the Clock
of the Long Now, a beautiful clock that has been constructed to tick away with
absolute precision for the next 10,000 years.
The museumâs own sense of time, however, seems a little less exact. Go to its
website (sciencemuseum.org.uk) to find out about booking arrangements, and you
will be told: â24 hour hotline. To book tickets please use our advanced booking
service (lines open 9am to 6pm daily).â
QUANTUM physics pops up everywhere. Reader Joe Morice bought some grape nuts
produced by Kraft. The packet informed him: âContents may have occurred during
shipping and handling.â
SchrĂśdingerâs cereal?
