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PERHAPS Ladbrokes, the British bookmaker, should employ more
mathematicians.

At the end of last month, the company offered a free £50 bet to anyone
who deposited at least £50 in their betting account. So if you bet
£50, win or lose, they gave you another £50 to bet. After you had
made a second bet with this free £50 you could withdraw any money left in
your account.

A friend of Feedback—let’s call him Neil—realised that if he
worked in a pair he could ensure them both a profit. He and his friend Stuart
bet on tennis, which is an either/or—there can only be two possible
results. By betting against each other—for example, if Henman played
Sampras, Neil would bet on Henman and Stuart would bet on Sampras—then
irrespective of the result one of them would win. The trick is to make two bets
like these at £50 each, one with the original stake and one with the free
Ā£50.

So, for example, if Neil’s bets both lost, Stuart would have made two winning
bets and his account would contain £100 (giving them both their stakes
back) plus profit, to be split between them, and vice versa. Making one winning
bet of £50 each meant each final account would contain
Ā£50—cancelling out the original stake—plus the profit from the
winnings, as determined by the odds.

Neil and Stuart are now celebrating in style.

IS THIS a case of intellectual property rights gone mad? The Telecom New
Zealand Yellow Pages informs readers that ā€œthe colour yellow [is] the
registered trademark of Telecom Directories Limited and may not be copied
without written permissionā€.

Feedback is now writing to Telecom NZ for permission to paint the
bedroom.

DOCTORS are not gods. But it might be good for them to think they are.

Researchers at the University of Modena in Italy have been looking at doctor
ā€œburnoutā€ā€”the physical and mental toll of the stresses of patient care.
Their study of 71 physicians, reported in the Journal of Occupational and
Environmental Medicine, found that work pressures were responsible for a
variety of health problems, including anxiety, ā€œdepersonalisationā€ and emotional
exhaustion.

They also found, however, that physicians who rated themselves and their
achievements positively showed significantly higher levels of lymphocytes and T
cells than their more modest colleagues.

In plain English, what this means is that if you are a doctor, being smug
stimulates your immune system.

PARENTS will sometimes grasp at any old straw to answer their children’s
questions. A friend who is an amateur palaeontologist reports hearing a
discussion between a mother and child looking at the exhibit of tangled dinosaur
bones preserved in the matrix in which they were found at the Dinosaur National
Monument in Utah.

The child asked why the bones were so jumbled up. ā€œBecause that’s the way the
coyotes left them,ā€ replied the mother.

MOVE OVER the Wonderbra. It’s time for the intelligent bra.

Researchers at the Intelligent Polymer Research Institute (IPRI) at the
University of Wollongong in Australia are developing a bra that will change its
properties in response to breast movement, giving better support to active women
and preventing breast pain and sag.

The bra will adjust its straps and cups as the wearer moves around, expanding
and contracting to give maximum comfort and support. It will be guided by a
microchip implanted in ā€œintelligentā€ polymer fabric. Gordon Wallace, director of
the IPRI, says: ā€œThis represents a major advance in the field of technical
textiles, which is gaining tremendous momentum throughout the world.ā€

TALKING of which, Feedback was interested to learn that one website to go to
find a surgeon for your breast augmentation is that of the British Association
of Plastic Surgeons at www.baps.co.uk.

WE HAVE been slow to congratulate the European chemical societies collective
for its deservedly popular online periodic table Visual Elements
(http://www.chemsoc.org/viselements/pages/history.html). The site is
beautifully illustrated with images evoking the properties of each chemical
element, and the foreword provides an enthusiastic insight into the history of
the study of the elements and of the periodic table.

Perhaps just a trifle too enthusiastic. Of the creator of the original
periodic table, Dmitri Mendeleev, the writer says: ā€œHe spotted that the titanium
group needed a final heavy metal member, which Mendeleev predicted would be
found among titanium ores by the Hungarian chemist George de Hevesy in
1923.ā€

Those 19th-century chemists were certainly clever, but we tend to doubt that
Mendeleev’s predictive abilities could stretch to knowing fifty years beforehand
the name and nationality of the discoverer of hafnium and the year in which it
would be unearthed.

FINALLY, what a difference a bit of punctuation can make. Reader Colin
Burman’s electric sandwich toaster has a warning sticker which advises: ā€œDo not
immerse in any liquid made in China.ā€